There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
It takes guts to be an organ donor
For real tho. Donate your organs. It saved my dads life 😁
Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues.
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
It depends on what you want it to change into.
Why did I stop and take a shot of vodka when I was running late to work?
That's what I do when I'm Russian
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
It's different. Take note everybody
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication
What do you call someone who takes pictures of Vietnamese soup?
If you want to weigh a whale you take it to a whale weigh station. So where do you go if you want to weigh a pie?
Somewheeere over the rainbow...
Watching the movie ' Grease ' to take my mind off some vaccine side effects, however..
I got chills..they're multiplying.
"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?"
"In case they get a hole in one!"
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
How many Freudian Slips does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb, and one to hold me, mother hold the ladder.
Because I always take my shit to the next level
I asked my daughter if she had taken a bath yet and sarcastically she says yeah, so I tell her to take another one.
Yes don't forget to take it.
My son's math's teacher was away so the head of school had to step in and take her place.
It's the principal that counts.
I was prescribed medication but I couldn't take it. It was too hard to get the lid off. You might have heard of it...
I need to learn how to take care of my new tree
So I'm going to nursery school.
My wife came screaming at me to take the spider out.
It was great! We went out for a couple of beers. He wants to be a senior web developer someday.
People who take care of chickens are basically....
does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
Back in the 70s and 80s, I’d often dress up nicely, go out and order dinner for one, see movies alone, take long solitary walks...
Wow, I’m really dating myself.
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
Why does it take sailors ages to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
How many IT guys does it take to fix a lightbulb?
One. But he just turns it off and on again.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?
Lettuce take a moment to appreciate ...
if your kid is refusing to take a nap
does that mean that they are resisting a rest
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. The real question is, how did they get in there?
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
How long does it take to beat a Sega game backwards? Ages...
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
I take pride in my stupid puns
Never take a calculus exam when you are sitting next to two identical twins.
It’s really hard to differentiate between them.
How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
According to ancient Japanese lore, your aura takes a particular colour when you die.
My wife said I can’t take a joke.
So I asked for one politely.
My son asked me if he should take 120k in loans for an Egyptology degree.
I told him don't even sphinx about it
I keep seeing the same joke that it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh. Can we stop with the harassing of sea life and just...
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
How many Dads does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
How many dads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. One to screw in the lightbulb...
And no one to write his jokes.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
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