Lift humor
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Bad puns lift me up
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
You know what would really lift my spirits these days?

If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoorHalfwayShut
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I think I’ll apply to a job at a scissor lift factory.

They’re always hiring people.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
The company that made the lift in my house is called Schindler. Yup. That's right. It's a Schindler's lift.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arnasfox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
So I was at the gym with my friend and me being not so strong, he dared me to lift 195 pounds. So I added a 35lb, a 25lb, and a 15lb onto the bar...

The odds were stacked against me

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Best_Bean
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lifts imgur.com/EcMnsu1
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PuddleOfRudd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Before the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31 be sure to lift your left leg.

That way you'll start off the new year on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Racing_the_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scburge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I guess this is schindler's lift.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chinookjoel2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...

"I'm on antidepressants."

He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a lift with a sign attached that said "due to an error, this lift can't go down"

My first thought was, "well, that's uplifting"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lifts
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themanimal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuggets_R_Uss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Make sure at 11:59 tonight you lift your left leg

That way you can start the new year on the right foot!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanSM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Make sure to lift your left foot up at midnight tonight.

Start 2020 off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/macbeezy_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I've recently developed an addiction to using lifts

I'm taking steps to get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
My niece who is active in politics just had a face lift...

She's an altered stateswoman.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
All the Avengers got into a lift

But only one couldn’t get out of it.

It was Tony Stuck

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtailavenger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melon get confused in the lift?

Because it canteloupe from down.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topherdophe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rover0000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtymimick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather hates the stair lift I bought him for his birthday.

It's been driving him up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 151
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I had an argument with my wife in a lift the other day...

I was wrong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/338geek
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m in Schindler’s lift.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mentalnova
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/floatingcruton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
It was always super sad watching my dad being barely able to lift 2-liter bottles of Pepsi.

He was soda pressing.

Edit: better (Hawaiian) punch line

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy who can lift a car?

Jack

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-TicTicBoom-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'

I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My office block has a Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mechrec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-jtw-
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Soooo has anyone seen Schinder's Lift?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCactus19
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what color is easier to lift than blue?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fazielr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a crippling phobia of lifts

I take multiple steps to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsabas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bakedpotatopiguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Farting on a lift is so wrong...

On so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otttega
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I would lift weights...

But they're just too damn heavy!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that lifts weights?

A BUFFalo.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeatherPainter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?

U.C.L.A.

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to take the stair chair lift because of his age.

It’s driving him up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The Lift is Life v.redd.it/ay982b9cihm21
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erbtastic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me β€œcan you give me a lift?”

I said β€œSure you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coleman_James
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My local tattoo shop is giving free tattoos if you lift up your shirt

Tit for tat

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kbsabo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Lift your left leg up for 30 seconds when it's 11:59:45 tonight.

That way you will start 2019 off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
So when me and my friend were stuck in a lift, the ventilation shut off

He then started hyperventilating

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When I get out a lift

I usually say "See you later, elevator"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AgamGamez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my grandmother how she is enjoying her new stair lift.

She said, β€œIt’s driving me up the wall!”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindlers lift imgur.com/MR8QqF5
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbhuff03
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift imgur.com/by1Fw6K
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog lifts from Los Angeles?

UCLA.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raychilljones15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œGrandma, how do you like your new stair lift?”

Grandma: It’s driving me up the fricking wall.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Malkin-H
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Changing a muffler isn’t easy without a lift
πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bestbikerstan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles?

UCLA

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Natetendo83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a plan to lift a boulder up a slope.

It was working out pretty well, but then it went downhill.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The lift broke at work the other day

I had to take steps to resolve it

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PresidentTaco_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call Jack-O-Lantern cousins who lift weights together?

Pump Kins

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day my favourite formula 1 driver asked me if I needed a lift

I said "No thanks I'm grand, but thanks verstappen"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexualised_pears
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss gave me the option to use a ladder or a lift.

I chose the latter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIce
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Every year during the New Year's count down, I stand up from the couch and lift my left leg...

I want to be sure I start the new year off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanCFL
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stringerbellwire
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Schindlers Lift πŸ€” imgur.com/0J46DwM
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johvork
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know why flamingos always lift one leg while standing?

Because if they lifted both legs they'd fall over.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
This lift (elevator if you're not British) in Badajoz, Spain imgur.com/hODkSgx
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derbyavs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Lift your left leg up for over a minute when it's 11:59:30 tonight

That way you start 2018 off on the right foot!

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s lift
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmemester1234
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bennis_the_Menace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChildishGiant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you even lift?

I was at the gym and my friend says to me, "Do you even lift bro?". I looked at him and said, "Nah man I use Uber."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1_Day_At_A_T1me
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Dews on the Schindler's lift (1944, colourised)
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BreadCrumbBandit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift imgur.com/AdspSaZ
πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DovaaaaaaahLad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
If you skipped the gym for 6 months, don't start with what you used to lift...

Youll be sore-y!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luxendary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift imgur.com/HU3sytI
πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/screwstock
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Overheard two guys talking about their favorite "lift".

One says "bench press" the other says "dead"... As I walk by I say "elevator"...

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy_jack_frost
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard a rumor that you lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Missed a golden opportunity with Shindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/workingwet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
🚨︎ report
At 11:59:59, don't forget to stand-up and lift your left foot off the ground.

That way you start the new year off on the right foot!

πŸ‘︎ 241
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brewingcode
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Schindlers Lift
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vinnybuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 225
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/plushcoots
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badlyferret
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
A guy offers 2 crisp packets a lift

They say no thanks, we're Walkers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BanadianCacon
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Saw this brand name on an elevator at a music venue. All I could think of was Schindler's Lift. imgur.com/itKHXUU
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notfunnynotfunny
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad was told he couldn't lift more than 5 pounds while recovering from his heart attack.

He asked the nurse how he was supposed to pee.

πŸ‘︎ 533
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoops66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

UCLA.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"

I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JK-BB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

UCLA

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Farting on a lift is wrong..

On so many levels!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BOOBOO1999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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