Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg

That way you will start off the new year on the right foot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown

So you can start the New Year off on the right foot

Edit: Thanks for the silver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crustydog19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My black belt friend had to put lifts in his shoes...

...adding insoles to ninjary.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i4mb4tm4n
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Chris Ubank just advised me to shop lift some kitchen utensils

He said, if I wanted to make it big, I would have to take some whisks.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Taff-Price
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Just before midnight tonight, I’ll lift up my left leg.

That way, I can start the new year on the right foot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving and I saw a packet of crisps and I asked β€œwant a lift?”

They said β€œno thanks we’re walkers”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeTramp7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a dad say at the lift?

See you later, elevator.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/erdit1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Lift humor
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackaldo7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Schinder's Lift?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wamark1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I've always hated stair lifts..

They really drive me up the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmorris10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My opinion on lifts...

They have their ups and downs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can X-Men and circus performers call to lift their large vehicles?

Huge jack men

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my grandfather how he’s enjoying the new stair lift that was recently installed in his house.

He said, β€œI hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It was raining this morning and my wife had to drive right past where I work, so I said 'Will you give me a lift?'

She said 'Have you lost weight? Nice shirt, by the way, and your hair looks fantastic.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My hotel elevator. Schindler’s Lift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoWolfMoon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..

.. Dying to Czech it out

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?

He didn’t want to steal his thunder

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The lift is the best part of a roller coaster

The rest is mostly downhill

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snorlaxfan1235
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad puns lift me up
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Albert Einstein and a guy that breaks wind inside a lift?

Einstein is a smart fella and the guy is.........

a fart smella.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists recently uncovered evidence of a dinosaur that loved to lift weights.

They've decided to call it hella sore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tutor78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...

"I'm on antidepressants."

He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lifts imgur.com/EcMnsu1
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuddleOfRudd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad has always been a Fabrication head at a lift company and my mum is a retired nurse..

According to him, their first date was "A Casual tea"..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PILEoSHEET
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I’ll apply to a job at a scissor lift factory.

They’re always hiring people.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what would really lift my spirits these days?

If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoorHalfwayShut
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rover0000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scburge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I guess this is schindler's lift.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chinookjoel2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lifts
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themanimal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler's Lift
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuggets_R_Uss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Make sure at 11:59 tonight you lift your left leg

That way you can start the new year on the right foot!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanSM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I had an argument with my wife in a lift the other day...

I was wrong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/338geek
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a lift with a sign attached that said "due to an error, this lift can't go down"

My first thought was, "well, that's uplifting"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Make sure to lift your left foot up at midnight tonight.

Start 2020 off on the right foot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macbeezy_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
All the Avengers got into a lift

But only one couldn’t get out of it.

It was Tony Stuck

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtailavenger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather hates the stair lift I bought him for his birthday.

It's been driving him up the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I've recently developed an addiction to using lifts

I'm taking steps to get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Schindler's lift
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtymimick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-jtw-
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My niece who is active in politics just had a face lift...

She's an altered stateswoman.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Schindler’s Lift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/floatingcruton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melon get confused in the lift?

Because it canteloupe from down.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/topherdophe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
It was always super sad watching my dad being barely able to lift 2-liter bottles of Pepsi.

He was soda pressing.

Edit: better (Hawaiian) punch line

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My office block has a Schindler's lift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mechrec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.

That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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