So I wanted to withdraw some money.

Have to try again later because for some reason I canβ€˜t ATM.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PEKKACHUNREAL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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When is the best time in the morning to withdraw cash?

ATM

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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I decided to withdraw all my money in my bank account into coins

I really need some change in my life

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBritishSnob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2019
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What do you call a person who is having withdrawals after stopping using drugs?

Lack-dose intolerant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sande24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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I made a dad joke generator

I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:

https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/magnebuda
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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Withdrawal some blood
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shaun16player
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2019
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I can't stop taking money out of every cash machine I walk past...

Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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Penny for your thoughts?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?

A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sikkerhet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?

It suffered from withdrawals.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 111
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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ATM message after a failed Comedian tried to withdrawal from his account-

"Cannot withdrawal, insufficient puns."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/king9510
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2017
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Severe withdrawal from not reading Mark Twain

Delirium Clemens

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brainbanana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2013
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When my kids are old enough to start attending school, I play on withdrawing them after day one.

I refuse to let them receive anything less than a first class education.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sykilik101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2016
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What's the reverse of withdrawing money from your account?

Deopposite

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hispanicatth3disc0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2014
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I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2019
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Daughter: "That armored truck looks like an ambulance."

Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."

She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/writenroll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2018
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What's the hardest part about being addicted to banking?

The withdrawals.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 393
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2017
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I'm addicted to having money in my bank account.

I suffer from withdrawals.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evilgeekwastaken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2016
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What’s the worst part about going bankrupt?

Dealing with the withdrawals...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PostCucumber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2018
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Sometimes going to the bank feels worse than quitting heroin did.

I get cash withdrawals.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scotscott
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2017
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My dad's amazing golf pun

My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:

  1. Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.

  2. Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)

My dad then cracks this one:

"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/plith
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2014
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Dadjokes at the bank.

Me (bank teller): "Hi, what can I do for you?"

Customer: "I'd like to make a deposit and if you could withdrawal some warm weather and deposit the cold I'd be happy with that too!"

The man then looked down at his kid who was grinning from ear to ear and gave him a high five. Had a nice chuckle after that one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ahain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2014
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I don't have any kids, but does this mean I'm a dad now?

So I was at a friend's wedding yesterday (her last name actually was Friend) but anyway, it was a really fancy wedding on a boat. Well another friend (not related to the Friends) and I were sitting down waiting for things to start when I realized that I forgot to take my medicine that morning. I explained to friend 2 that one of the withdrawal symptoms is extreme dizziness and that soon I wouldn't be able to tell whether the water was rough or if it was just my medicine. A few minutes later, friend 2 looked to me and said, "You know, I think I'm in the same boat as you. I forgot to take my medicine this morning too." To which I replied, "You are in the same boat as me."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oddark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2015
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