Dr: We had to remove your colon
I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.
I have a Pierce Brosnan sticker I can't remove
It's bonded, James Bond-ed
How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?
My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
What's harder to remove from an apartment than six spiders?
Recently I’ve had to remove several of my posts.
Why did the dentist remove the wrong tooth?
He didn’t mean to, he did it acciDENTALly
Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?
He called it the Pile Driver.
What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
Know what it means when the mods remove some of your posts?
That they've taken a fence!
Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
If you remove all musical instruments from a church
Gravity is a very important part of our existence. What happens when you remove it?
I purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say, "remove cap and push up bottom."
I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely. Credit: https://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php
My wife claims that she can remove my chest hair without any pain at all.
I don’t think she will be able to pull it off.
Egg: If you take me seriously, you'll leave my shell intact and not remove my whites. Me: *Breaks Egg and removes whites*
Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..
Drinking alcohol removes pimples.
Not from me, but from other people.
I got in a bad accident and the doctors had to remove my left leg and arm
At that moment I realized I had nothing left to lose
My friend just told me that he has a third nipple, and he has decided to get surgery to remove it.
He really needed to get it off his chest.
How do you remove an automobile from a car pit?
Original joke time! The apples I had to remove the peals from all appeared in twos, matched for use together.
I got my dad a new tool that helps him remove things he has clamped onto his work bench.
He said he’d never heard of such a de-vice.
A farmer was trying his best to remove his cows from a nearby marijuana plantation
My son missed curfew again, so to teach him a lesson, I made him remove all the kudzu out back.
It was de-vine punishment.
Guys I found out what the past tense of remove is.
I went shopping in two different stores today for alcohol and, both times, was asked to remove my sunglasses.
I guess I must've looked shady.
[Based on a true story!]
The irony of using floss to remove previously used floss is not lost on me.
And that's the tooth of the matter.
How do you remove dreadlocks?
What happens if you remove Christmas trees?
Then there are only Christmas two's left
My friend lied about creating a cloth that can easily be ripped to remove sleeves...
It was a tearable fabrication!
The CEO of Honda was fired, and the cops were called to remove him from his office.
He refused to leave on his own Accord.
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm afraid we've had to remove your colon
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Doctor: I’m sorry but I had to remove a section of your colon.
Gravity is one of the most essential forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
I recently discovered what the past tense of Remove is
Gravity is one the most fundamental forces in the universe, but when you remove it, you get gravy.
What even number becomes odd when you remove a letter?
SIX! If you remove the S you are left with IX, which is nine in roman numerals
I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said "Remove cap and push up bottom"
It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.
I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said to remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk but my farts smell lovely.
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Doctor: we had to remove your colon