My female cat just got fixed, but the vet insisted on referring to it as "feline ovarian removal".
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
I want to invest in one of those junk removal companies.
No matter what happens with the economy, their business always seems to be picking up.
I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
I had a heart removal surgery the other day
When my family asked me if I was okay, I didn’t have the heart to tell them no.
Edit. I can’t change the title but I’ve decided to word it differently:
My heart got ripped out earlier today.
I am baffled how I got a job with a tree removal company.
My wife just got a breast reduction surgery done and the doctor slapped a couple pieces of paper across her nipples that had bandage removal tips...
They were post-tit notes.
I'm thinking about going into business for myself with a combined therapy/body hair removal clinic...
I'm gonna call it "GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST"!
I’m starting slow on my waxing/hair removal business, and we only have female clients for the time being.
I don’t want to go nuts right away.
The invention of the dry erase board resulted in removal of the permanent sentence.
It was completely remarkable!
It has been 3 years now since I got my neck removal surgury.
And I haven't looked back since.
One day, I hope to make an asbestos removal company...
The slogan will be "We'll do asbestos we can"
Great name for a Tattoo Removal business
Talking about my wisdom teeth removal, dad busts this out
"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"
Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...
Customer had a pheasant stuck in the grill of their truck, took it to the shop for removal...
It was an unpheasant task
Original post in link above.
I just learned the past tense of remove!
Reddit faces lawsuit for failing to remove child sexual abuse material
Did you hear about the racing snail who removed his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it only made him sluggish!
Someone removed the 5th month from all my calenders
Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?
It's a seize and de-cyst order!
I got a hammer lodged in my esophagus and doctors can't remove it
They say it's the worst case of a Thor throat they've ever seen.
No more Suez Canal jokes!
Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....
I like to lecture about the Cetacean Species by removing whales and dolphins from the equation.
I had my toes medically removed to protest all forms of hate.
I lack toes in tolerance.
What do you call someone who has had their liver removed?
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket
Does anyone have any polish remover?
I can’t get this Polish guy to leave.
Does anyone know the best way to remove ice from a windscreen?
I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....
The Doc is giving away treatments to remove boils at no cost
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out
The cashier said nevermind
Why was my post removed?
Can someone tell me why my post was removed?
I'm a bit annoyed about this as it caused my fence to fall over
Psst Psst! I know the past tense of remove
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
Can an Admin tell me why my post was removed? It was very inconvenient... My whole fence fell down
My dentist removed my teeth
That was very demolarising
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.
I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why did President Xi Jinping order the caplock keys to be removed from all Chinas computers?
Because he was afraid of Capitalism!
What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
To the guy who stole my punchline...
How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?
My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
I have a Pierce Brosnan sticker I can't remove
It's bonded, James Bond-ed
What's harder to remove from an apartment than six spiders?
Dr: We had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.