I like to lecture about the Cetacean Species by removing whales and dolphins from the equation.
Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...
I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.
I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...
I’m thinking about removing my spine.
I feel like it’s only holding me back.
Decided against removing the third wheel on my son's trike
Would have been two tiring...
My friend got a new job removing italics from reader correspondence at the local paper...
He gets to right letters to the editor.
For Spanish Catholics removing Christ from Christmas should mean more to them.
The crew began removing/replacing our siding this morning
Apparently they are removing the essay section from the SAT.
It’ll be called T from now on.
My neighbor was removing his fence
So I asked my mom, "Is he removing it himself?"
She says, "Yes."
I say to her, "Well then he's practicing self-de-fence!"
Scientists have recently engineered a new species of frog that have become immortal after removing their vocal cords
Why is removing one letter from "Cashew" good for your feet?
Because you're left with ashew.
Doctor: "Your daughter's adenoids are enlarged and need removing"
Me: "So we need to subtractnoids?"
Got my brother good while removing some tile
He asked, "where did you out the glasses?"
"I left then right by the gloves"
"Huh, maybe I didn't see them"
"Well maybe you need glasses"
End scene
I just learned the past tense of remove!
Reddit faces lawsuit for failing to remove child sexual abuse material
Did you hear about the racing snail who removed his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it only made him sluggish!
Someone removed the 5th month from all my calenders
Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?
It's a seize and de-cyst order!
I got a hammer lodged in my esophagus and doctors can't remove it
They say it's the worst case of a Thor throat they've ever seen.
No more Suez Canal jokes!
Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....
I had my toes medically removed to protest all forms of hate.
I lack toes in tolerance.
What do you call someone who has had their liver removed?
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Does anyone have any polish remover?
I can’t get this Polish guy to leave.
Does anyone know the best way to remove ice from a windscreen?
I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
The Doc is giving away treatments to remove boils at no cost
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out
The cashier said nevermind
Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
Why was my post removed?
Can someone tell me why my post was removed?
I'm a bit annoyed about this as it caused my fence to fall over
Psst Psst! I know the past tense of remove
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
Can an Admin tell me why my post was removed? It was very inconvenient... My whole fence fell down
My dentist removed my teeth
That was very demolarising
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.
I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why did President Xi Jinping order the caplock keys to be removed from all Chinas computers?
Because he was afraid of Capitalism!
What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
To the guy who stole my punchline...
My female cat just got fixed, but the vet insisted on referring to it as "feline ovarian removal".
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?
My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
I have a Pierce Brosnan sticker I can't remove
It's bonded, James Bond-ed
Recently I’ve had to remove several of my posts.
What's harder to remove from an apartment than six spiders?
I'm thinking of removing my spine
It's only holding me back.
Dr: We had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
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