My earliest clear memory from my childhood is going with my dad to get my prescription glasses.
Life before that is a blur.
π︎ 83
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
Man walks into a psychiatrist office w/clear wrapping paper on
The psychiatrist says,"I can clearly see your nuts."
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Are we clear?
π︎ 46
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Why does a man have a clear conscience
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Just so everyone is clear
I'm gonna put on my glasses
π︎ 39
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
I just got glasses due to myopia and now everything looks clear and 4K.
Guess that's my New Year's Resolution
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Unbelievable...Just been to the chemist, asked the lady if she had something to clear up diarrhoea...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
π︎ 682
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
What do you call a mom who is very clear about wanting to change her gender?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
The choice is clear!
π︎ 36
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
Itβs clear now
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
Steer clear from the beer
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
happy crystal clear new year
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
What do you call it when you go to the toilet and pass crystal clear urine?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
Clear cut case
π︎ 160
π
︎ Mar 26 2019
Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.
I really should get past this phase.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...
A wide berth for a wide birth.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 02 2019
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
There is a clear difference between a poison dart frog and a bullfrog.
As if it wasn't obvious enough...
They're two toad-ally different things!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
Have you heard about the new, clear coffin?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Dad: Did I make myself clear?
Son: No, we can all still see you.
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
Whatβs clear and smells like carrots?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
The undead not having to factor food and shelter into their cost of living is a clear example of wight privilege.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
Iβm very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Wife: "Can you clear the table."
I had to get a running start, but I managed it.
π︎ 102
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Just so everybody's clear.....
I'm going to put my glasses on
π︎ 146
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
So one day, my wife asked me to clear the table...
I needed a running start, but I did it.
π︎ 30
π
︎ May 31 2020
Just so everybody's clear,
I'm going to put my glasses on.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 21 2018
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 168
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
Just so everyone is clear
Iβm going to put my glasses on
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
My wife told me to clear the table.
It took a running start but I did it.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Sep 29 2019
What do you call crystal-clear urine?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.
Life before that is a blur.
π︎ 88
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
Just so everybody is clear
Iβm gonna put my glasses on
π︎ 124
π
︎ Nov 12 2018
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...
A wide berth for a wide birth.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 10 2019
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