My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwardsMannn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080pee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
πŸ‘︎ 679
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mom who is very clear about wanting to change her gender?

Trans-parent

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mumpledump69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.

Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody's clear.....

I'm going to put my glasses on

πŸ‘︎ 151
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",

Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomadic187187
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The choice is clear!
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Steer clear from the beer
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devallar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s clear now
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wickedlysane
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
happy crystal clear new year
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patrickpang
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.

I really should get past this phase.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FramDzi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.

A Blunt Force Korma

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life

"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Clear cut case
πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MustafaJohn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/respectively288
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...

...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ziograffiato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a clear difference between a poison dart frog and a bullfrog.

As if it wasn't obvious enough...

They're two toad-ally different things!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ecquid-indignius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new, clear coffin?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cruzmissilefilms
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s clear and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sandlewoodshire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The undead not having to factor food and shelter into their cost of living is a clear example of wight privilege.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not clear if Elon Musk has really moved on with his past alien-girlfriend relationship.

Look how much he’s invested in his Space Ex...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog clears from over Los Angeles?

UCLA.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spacey_kasey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Did I make myself clear?

Son: No, we can all still see you.

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. Me: Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.

Dad: I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kpontop9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told me off today because I'm always turning things into a joke. "So have I made myself clear?" he growled.

I shouted, "No, I can still see you!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The sexuality of Yoda was never really clear. When asked if he was gay he answered:

Damn straight I am!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HakunaTraumata
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I hope I'm the first to say this about the next US presidential election. Last election left plenty of people mad, but we won't have any near sighted politicians next time, because whoever runs in 2020 will have a clear vision of the future.

Because 20/20 vision means you have perfectly good sight.

Pun on a pun: I wonder if RealClearPolitics.com will catch on.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Diehardpuns
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not clear who would win in a fightβ€” Trump or Theresa May.

Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife: "Can you clear the table."

I had to get a running start, but I managed it.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080p

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/franz-hanz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
So one day, my wife asked me to clear the table...

I needed a running start, but I did it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ba71905
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Just so everyone is clear

I’m going to put my glasses on

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080p

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody's clear,

I'm going to put my glasses on.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cancervixen831
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080 Pee

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mckraken01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal-clear urine?

1080P

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rkcorinth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you go to the toilet and pass crystal clear urine?

1080 pee.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aldo712
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to clear the table.

It took a running start but I did it.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/singlemother12345
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/respectively288
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody is clear

I’m gonna put my glasses on

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Themidgetchicken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080pee

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dpb11223344
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if could clear the table

I needed a running start, but I made it!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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