My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BackwardsMannn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080pee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
πŸ‘οΈŽ 679
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mom who is very clear about wanting to change her gender?

Trans-parent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mumpledump69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.

Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody's clear.....

I'm going to put my glasses on

πŸ‘οΈŽ 151
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",

Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nomadic187187
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The choice is clear!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/originalripley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Steer clear from the beer
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/devallar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s clear now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wickedlysane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
happy crystal clear new year
πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/patrickpang
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.

I really should get past this phase.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FramDzi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.

A Blunt Force Korma

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life

"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Clear cut case
πŸ‘οΈŽ 161
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MustafaJohn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/respectively288
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...

...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ziograffiato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There is a clear difference between a poison dart frog and a bullfrog.

As if it wasn't obvious enough...

They're two toad-ally different things!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ecquid-indignius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new, clear coffin?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cruzmissilefilms
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s clear and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sandlewoodshire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The undead not having to factor food and shelter into their cost of living is a clear example of wight privilege.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kttypo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not clear if Elon Musk has really moved on with his past alien-girlfriend relationship.

Look how much he’s invested in his Space Ex...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExWeirdStuffPornstar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when the smog clears from over Los Angeles?

UCLA.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spacey_kasey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Did I make myself clear?

Son: No, we can all still see you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 133
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. Me: Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.

Dad: I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kpontop9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told me off today because I'm always turning things into a joke. "So have I made myself clear?" he growled.

I shouted, "No, I can still see you!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The sexuality of Yoda was never really clear. When asked if he was gay he answered:

Damn straight I am!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HakunaTraumata
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I hope I'm the first to say this about the next US presidential election. Last election left plenty of people mad, but we won't have any near sighted politicians next time, because whoever runs in 2020 will have a clear vision of the future.

Because 20/20 vision means you have perfectly good sight.

Pun on a pun: I wonder if RealClearPolitics.com will catch on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Diehardpuns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not clear who would win in a fightβ€” Trump or Theresa May.

Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife: "Can you clear the table."

I had to get a running start, but I managed it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 103
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080p

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/franz-hanz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
So one day, my wife asked me to clear the table...

I needed a running start, but I did it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ba71905
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Just so everyone is clear

I’m going to put my glasses on

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080p

πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TooCoolToSocialize
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody's clear,

I'm going to put my glasses on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cancervixen831
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080 Pee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mckraken01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal-clear urine?

1080P

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rkcorinth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you go to the toilet and pass crystal clear urine?

1080 pee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aldo712
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to clear the table.

It took a running start but I did it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/singlemother12345
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...

A wide berth for a wide birth.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/respectively288
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Just so everybody is clear

I’m gonna put my glasses on

πŸ‘οΈŽ 118
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Themidgetchicken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call crystal clear urine?

1080pee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dpb11223344
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if could clear the table

I needed a running start, but I made it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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