My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
I don't think the coast is clear just yet
π︎ 679
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
What do you call a mom who is very clear about wanting to change her gender?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
Just so everybody's clear.....
I'm going to put my glasses on
π︎ 151
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
The choice is clear!
π︎ 40
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
Steer clear from the beer
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Itβs clear now
π︎ 44
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
happy crystal clear new year
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.
I really should get past this phase.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Clear cut case
π︎ 161
π
︎ Mar 26 2019
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...
A wide berth for a wide birth.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 02 2019
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.
Life before that is a blur.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
There is a clear difference between a poison dart frog and a bullfrog.
As if it wasn't obvious enough...
They're two toad-ally different things!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
Have you heard about the new, clear coffin?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Whatβs clear and smells like carrots?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
The undead not having to factor food and shelter into their cost of living is a clear example of wight privilege.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
Iβm very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
Itβs not clear if Elon Musk has really moved on with his past alien-girlfriend relationship.
Look how much heβs invested in his Space Ex...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
What happens when the smog clears from over Los Angeles?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
Dad: Did I make myself clear?
Son: No, we can all still see you.
π︎ 133
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. Me: Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.
Dad: I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 26 2019
My son told me off today because I'm always turning things into a joke. "So have I made myself clear?" he growled.
I shouted, "No, I can still see you!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
The sexuality of Yoda was never really clear. When asked if he was gay he answered:
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 02 2019
I hope I'm the first to say this about the next US presidential election. Last election left plenty of people mad, but we won't have any near sighted politicians next time, because whoever runs in 2020 will have a clear vision of the future.
Because 20/20 vision means you have perfectly good sight.
Pun on a pun: I wonder if RealClearPolitics.com will catch on.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 22 2019
Itβs not clear who would win in a fightβ Trump or Theresa May.
Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 14 2018
Wife: "Can you clear the table."
I had to get a running start, but I managed it.
π︎ 103
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
So one day, my wife asked me to clear the table...
I needed a running start, but I did it.
π︎ 31
π
︎ May 31 2020
Just so everyone is clear
Iβm going to put my glasses on
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 173
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
Just so everybody's clear,
I'm going to put my glasses on.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 21 2018
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
What do you call crystal-clear urine?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
What do you call it when you go to the toilet and pass crystal clear urine?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
My wife told me to clear the table.
It took a running start but I did it.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Sep 29 2019
They say you should steer clear of a hippopotamus in labor...
A wide berth for a wide birth.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
Just so everybody is clear
Iβm gonna put my glasses on
π︎ 118
π
︎ Nov 12 2018
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 10 2019
My wife asked if could clear the table
I needed a running start, but I made it!
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 24 2019
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