I bought a chameleon and it wouldn't change colour....
The vet said it had a reptile dysfunction.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
I didn't think a vasectomy would change my life that much...
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.
My movie script went through a big change
I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:
"Here's your Nickleback."
My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.
I am baffled that the cashier is out of change.
What's the drug that changes your voice?
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
If you harm someone who's had a sex change...
...You've committed a transgression.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One... Or two.
One......... Or two.
Algebra teachers support change in the world...
Because they love radicals.
(Sorry if this has been done before, this is my first post on this sub)
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb...
The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...
***Pew***berty, in other words.
What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?
why do children have trouble looking at their parents after a gender change?
Because parents become Trans-parent
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.
Did you know that you change nationalities when you really have to go to the bathroom?
When you’re trying to find the facilities, you’re Russian. Once you get there though, European.
Well. After many years I have decided to change my gamer tag to glove.
I just think it’s catchy.
Even if Autocorrect changes "Fuck" to "Duck"...
...Its still considered fowl language
When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.
So, my child told me on the phone they'd got a sex change. They could tell I wasn't too bothered...
I had become trans-parent
My mail man just had a sex change operation.
I guess I should call him a post man now
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain
For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Did you know that certain rooms in your house can change your citizenship?
If you go to the bathroom, European
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - that's a hardware problem.
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?
A guy told me to keep the change
I dunno, it didn't make much cents to me. I already keep the change I made; I've been the same way for years.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
How many tropical birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ideally three, but Toucan.
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.
It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.
Ever since my sex change my son acts like I’m not here...
Maybe it’s because I’m trans-parent
How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?
The very first sex change procedures were perfected in ancient Egypt...
...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.
To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
I'm definitely not kidding.