Be an agent of change
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I bought a chameleon and it wouldn't change colour....

The vet said it had a reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/struggling-here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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I didn't think a vasectomy would change my life that much...

But it's a vas deferens.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealjimstacey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My movie script went through a big change

Now its a trans-script

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAmazingSoSo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:

"Here's your Nickleback."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jessieface13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œAre you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”

I said, β€œActually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.

Cyan-aura.

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I am baffled that the cashier is out of change.

Makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/upsidedownqbert
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the drug that changes your voice?

Voice crack.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommy-2005
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaronclark384
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If you harm someone who's had a sex change...

...You've committed a transgression.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One... Or two.

One......... Or two.

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Algebra teachers support change in the world...

Because they love radicals.

(Sorry if this has been done before, this is my first post on this sub)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Main
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb...

Into what ?

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...

***Pew***berty, in other words.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?

Reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
why do children have trouble looking at their parents after a gender change?

Because parents become Trans-parent

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shrinivas2098
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.

This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Did you know that you change nationalities when you really have to go to the bathroom?

When you’re trying to find the facilities, you’re Russian. Once you get there though, European.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halokost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Well. After many years I have decided to change my gamer tag to glove.

I just think it’s catchy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolboonesfarm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Even if Autocorrect changes "Fuck" to "Duck"...

...Its still considered fowl language

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.

So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
So, my child told me on the phone they'd got a sex change. They could tell I wasn't too bothered...

I had become trans-parent

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bredstikz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My mail man just had a sex change operation.

I guess I should call him a post man now

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain

For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Change
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PromiscuousPinger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that certain rooms in your house can change your citizenship?

If you go to the bathroom, European

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimito_burrito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - that's a hardware problem.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnigmaticLemons
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?

Scooby Do

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1jet007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy told me to keep the change

I dunno, it didn't make much cents to me. I already keep the change I made; I've been the same way for years.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeanTheBermanator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.

Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baileywiki
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?

Normally three, but Toucan.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How many tropical birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

One can't, but Toucan.

πŸ‘︎ 224
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R4D1U5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BoogiepoP_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ideally three, but Toucan.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono_bound20xx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride bikes!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.

So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.

It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever since my sex change my son acts like I’m not here...

Maybe it’s because I’m trans-parent

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bennyblueberry
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?

One…or two? One…or two?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The very first sex change procedures were perfected in ancient Egypt...

...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.

I'm definitely not kidding.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chennai_buzzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report

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