From my offspring. What is the difference between a dad and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a Hippo, and a Zippo?

One is quite heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?

One’s a Coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?

You can’t tuna fish!

β€œWhat about the glue?”

I knew you’d get stuck on that!

πŸ‘︎ 149
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbirdyy55
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.

As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a "male" and a "female"?

Iron.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?

The flavor.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are around $1.25 and deer nuts are just under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Patfan74
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a bad cop and a good cop?

A good cop wears a goodge.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WeDoNotSow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
what the difference between a snowman and a snowoman?

the snow balls

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shrek-fan-26
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Kindly stolen from my friend who is an ER doc.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtrot_uckilo
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cookpot and his best friend?

They are both cauldron.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
whats the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

you can unscrew a lightbulb

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/volpesalvatore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
There is no difference between 4 and 4.0

I just don’t get the point.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

What’s the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says ribbit-ribbit. A horny toad says rub-it rub-it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You take note of whether it sees you later or in a while

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystichunterz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 224
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loucatelli
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeanieBear101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dad joke and an uncle joke?

Whether you groan or moan

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanhedge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?

One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a hose and a house?

No u.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GabetheHyena
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a slug and a snail?

Snails are better shells men.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a tombola and an instagramer's pose?

One's a lucky dip and the other is a ducky lip

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stokokopops
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
Know the difference between sun and no sun?

You really should. Its night and day

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurkeySub72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between roast-beef and pea-soup?

Anyone can roast Beef.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Covid 19 and Romeo & Juliet?

..One’s a Corona virus and the other’s a Verona crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 184
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yipyopyupyap
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a good beef wellington and an asteroid?

One is meaty and the other is a little meteor!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J0hn-c3na
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between SpaceX and a chicken?

One makes rocket boosters.

The other makes "bock" at roosters.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barrtender
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between suggestive phrases and stalking?

One is innuendo the other is inyourwindow

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jcbrnld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an elefant and a Zippo

One is a little lighter

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trumpigator38
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between people in Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't like the flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PartyProNL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer ?

One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a zippo and a hippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hundle_Dundle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea?

Process of Elimination.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Do you know how to tell the difference between people from Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones. The ones from Abu Dhabi do

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/axe_murdererer
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

One can shoot but can’t hit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Don’t know, don’t care.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hshark215
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi

The people of Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi Do.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NGGlass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a post box and a rhinoceros?

Don’t know? Ok I’d better post the letter myself...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an archaeologist and an ichthyologist ?

One mucks around in fountains....

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an Indian and African Elephant?

One’s an elephant.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CamPfaff
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a prison guard?

one watches cells and one sells watches

πŸ‘︎ 152
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maxian213
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

The snowballs!

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueWarrior347
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a lion and a Giraffe?

The Giraffe has a longer neck

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesain7
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LDJ007
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfalberto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of the paws... The other is a pause at the end of a clause.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas ?

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edgydonut
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai?

The people in Dubai don’t like the Flinstones but the people in Abu-Dhabi-Do!!!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Morphius-Rigz230
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?

Video game characters have lives

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes...

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XQZahme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?

One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler...

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws

Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 204
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman

Snowballs

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memerman09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between Russian roulette and Soviet roulette?

In Soviet roulette everyone dies equally

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Possum and an Opossum?

The Opossum is Irish.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oafah
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a Mosquito and a Fly?

A mosquito can fly, but a fly can’t mosquito.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/au-Razzo
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Yak and a Bison.

One talks too much.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwomen?

Snowballs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oSocialPeanut
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a big Date and a little date?

The D

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loveislikeabullet
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer

The former is a latter and the latter is a former

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooterT12
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.

I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.

πŸ‘︎ 626
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
There's a new Fab-Four cover band - The Eetles.. Biggest difference?

"Let'r Be"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dabiker68
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an observer and a stalker?

A clipboard and pen

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between boogers and spinach?

Kids don't eat spinach.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/het_bob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you’re the one!!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPooMD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between the coronavirus and 737MAX?

The coronavirus is airborne.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a toothbrush and an alligator?

If you don’t know, you better be careful next time you brush your teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sreeazy_human
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
People who don't the difference between a headstone, a tomb, and a mausoleum.

Are in grave danger.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_-BONES
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snowballs

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmehdi_000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Dubai doesn’t like the Flintstones but Abu Dhabi doo

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schady007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a Tuna fish, a piano and a jar of Glue

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people of Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi do!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snigglous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle ?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

πŸ‘︎ 546
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Floppy-4-Skin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashthewarrior7
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabi dooo!

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oscrbd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo ?

One is very heavy, and the other is a little lighter

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't like the Flinstones but people in Abu Dhabi dooooooooooo!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report

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