A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Five hundred people were exposed to ten different puns, to see if any of them made the subject laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
There are so many different things you can do with spaghetti.
It’s mind-blowing to think of all the pasta-bilities.
In ancient Rome there were four different types of poison...
Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...
Poison IV just made you itchy.
I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.
The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
Did you know that Atticus Finch was born with a different name?
Unidentified male charged with two completely different crimes in the produce aisle.
What kind of dog is made of different materials?
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
There was a lot of cross referencing.
Just realised it’s Pancake Day.... (different punchline)
that means everybody has Cake Day...
The US grows two different species of cherry trees
Washington and Michigan grow both the sweet type, which is great for eating raw, and the sour type, which is used in pies and sauces.
But California grows only the sweet type. It's untarted cherritory.
What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people
It was a rare medium, but well done
There are really only 10 different kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Why 2021 is not going to be so much different from 2020?
My friend always told me to try different types of tea instead of drinking only Earl Grey.
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.
She was in charge of the hops.
Santa will not have to quarantine when entering different countries
He has gotten the vaccine and now has santybodies
A sheep wakes up to find that she's at a completely different farm.
None of the other sheep seem alarmed, so she goes and asks another sheep what's going on.
"Oh, haven't you herd?"
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Loofahs comes in 4 different sizes...
Small, Medium, Large and Vandross.
I have started freezing different objects at -273.15°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.
The home owner comes out and says “That’s all white.”
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
Why was 6 scared of 5? (different version)
Because 5 fought 3, 2 and won.
What do you call two people looking at the same thing at different times?
My kid just told me I looked different with my glasses on
I thought that was the whole point of them.
What makes a boy different from a girl?
i speak eight different languages
7 of the languages is 10 out of 10 but my German is 9
A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states
I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....
I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.
I am a big fan of playing different songs together
You can say that I am medley in love with it.
Why would everything be different without a sense of touch?
Because we wouldn’t know how to feel
My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.
After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"
Fun fact: Axolotls our one of the only species to have a different name in their infancy.
My friends and I were discussing about different kinds of alcoholic drinks, and this guy kept talking about a Japanese one
Dogs have different barks in different countries
The american dogs go bark bark, the Scandinavian dogs go bjeff bjeff and the british dogs go bruv bruv.
While taking a tour of a college campus, the tour guide mentioned that the school was surrounded by three different cemeteries.
Tour guide: And did you know that if you live across from a cemetery, you can’t be buried there?
Me: What?? Why not?
Tour guide: Because you’re still alive!
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
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