A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolf_taylor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Five hundred people were exposed to ten different puns, to see if any of them made the subject laugh.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 264
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πŸ‘€︎ u/popularvote
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.

Me: Wait. I can change.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
When my doctor told me I had a deviated septum, I asked him how different it was from the average.

"Standard deviation", he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pops-icle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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I am reading this article that compares all the different versions of The Bible.

There is a lot of cross referencing.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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There's a lot of different ways to depict Jesus, but I always think of him up on the cross

That's Jesus to a t.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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There are so many different things you can do with spaghetti.

It’s mind-blowing to think of all the pasta-bilities.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinyldoctor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.

The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"

πŸ‘︎ 686
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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In ancient Rome there were four different types of poison...

Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...

Poison IV just made you itchy.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicks4183
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Did you know that Atticus Finch was born with a different name?

Subtracticus Finch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Unidentified male charged with two completely different crimes in the produce aisle.

He took a leek

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of dog is made of different materials?

Polymeranians

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Basahn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Just realised it’s Pancake Day.... (different punchline)

that means everybody has Cake Day...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?

β€œoon”.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The US grows two different species of cherry trees

Washington and Michigan grow both the sweet type, which is great for eating raw, and the sour type, which is used in pies and sauces.

But California grows only the sweet type. It's untarted cherritory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitwiseshiftleft
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

different

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamerx1353
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people

It was a rare medium, but well done

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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There are really only 10 different kinds of people in this world.

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My friend always told me to try different types of tea instead of drinking only Earl Grey.

He was right all oolong.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakwag1019
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Why 2021 is not going to be so much different from 2020?

Because 2021 is 2022

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chatauscours
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.

She was in charge of the hops.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DukeofZebulon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa will not have to quarantine when entering different countries

He has gotten the vaccine and now has santybodies

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanb49
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have started freezing different objects at -273.15Β°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.

I call it the 0k boomer experiment.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A sheep wakes up to find that she's at a completely different farm.

None of the other sheep seem alarmed, so she goes and asks another sheep what's going on.

"Oh, haven't you herd?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.

I told them they were being gracist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uhh-Whatever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Loofahs comes in 4 different sizes...

Small, Medium, Large and Vandross.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.

The home owner comes out and says β€œThat’s all white.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...

But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wgf5823
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was 6 scared of 5? (different version)

Because 5 fought 3, 2 and won.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different) /r/AntiJokes/comments/i2f…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutoCrosspostBot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid just told me I looked different with my glasses on

I thought that was the whole point of them.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thumbtackthief
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two people looking at the same thing at different times?

Seesaw

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laurencelara22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What makes a boy different from a girl?

Buoyancy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reverse_mango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
i speak eight different languages

7 of the languages is 10 out of 10 but my German is 9

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wbgsccgc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.

After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I am a big fan of playing different songs together

You can say that I am medley in love with it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoqkhan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why would everything be different without a sense of touch?

Because we wouldn’t know how to feel

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinyl_Vey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: Axolotls our one of the only species to have a different name in their infancy.

Axolittles.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReflexNL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.

There was a lot of cross referencing.

πŸ‘︎ 714
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.

Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.

πŸ‘︎ 402
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

Different

πŸ‘︎ 588
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_Buu22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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