Iβve got a date with Destiny! Reaching out to take Destiny into my own hands ! And a few other sub-par ones not worth mentioning.
It seems I missed my culling
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
That ship has sailed.
Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds
"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."
πππ π£HAAAAIIIIIRπ£
I need to make my font bigger
I really missed the boat on that one
The carrot sticks but the hummus dips.
so I turned on the closed captioning.
After every joke I told, someone kept yelling "sit down"!
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
...and if I canβt sue Ez, can Al?
I said, βThatβs Heinz sight for you.β
Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.
Asphalt.
Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.
One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.
It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.
The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.
The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.
Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.
That price of inflation is something else!
Philately will get you nowhere
I guess heβs now an ex-cape-artist...
It would be called "Vortexas".
I want to ride my bicycle.
Most people dont like hare in their food
Because theres less stigma to stamen.
It must be the mask era.
Also, Iβm now calling myself The Doctor
A barber.
That stuff is great
He suggested, the cash machine .
It seems like just yesterday.
Oui, a visit to the Eyeful Tower is always recommended when vacationing in France.
That ship has sailed.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
