I always seek such puns
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︎ May 24 2018
Such pun-ishment
π︎ 90
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︎ Jan 24 2019
Why do Deloreans always have such low mileage?
Theyβre only driven from from time to time
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Such a shame that Jeff Bezos is stepping down from Amazon.
He really is in his prime.
π︎ 29
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︎ Feb 03 2021
People ask me why I still work as a mailman,on such low salary.
I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"
π︎ 49
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︎ Jan 30 2021
A man went to the doctorβs and told him, βI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.β
He said, βWow, thatβs the worst case of parking sonβs disease Iβve ever seen.β
π︎ 11k
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Such a short birthday
Told my family that today is one of the shortest birthdays of my life. Only half a minute long.
Itβs my thirty second birthday
π︎ 32
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 11 2021
How could a tailor become such a good lawyer?
Because he had lots of experience in sewing.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I wish my family wouldn't make such a big deal over not picking up dropped ice cubes.
It's just water under the fridge.
π︎ 55
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers
They were all excellent at marxmanship
π︎ 19
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What makes boaters such positive people?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Nearly Headless Nick had such potential to be a great character
But he was so badly executed.
π︎ 47
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︎ Dec 15 2020
You know, I had such a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down the hill.
π︎ 179
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Iβve always had such high hopes for skiing.
Then it goes downhill fast.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Iβm sorry for such a miserable post
π︎ 62
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 09 2020
"Fellow Spearman, why must you hold your spear in such an irregular stance?"
But then it hit them why he was holding it in a overhand grip.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 14 2020
such a prick to talk to
π︎ 44
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Why was Vlad the Impaler such a good speaker?
He always got to the point.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 24 2020
couldn't pass on such a pun thread
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 19 2020
I donβt know why I have such a hard time putting on a scarf.
I just canβt wrap my head around it.
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 28 2020
My wife is such a sex object.
Every time I want sex, she objects.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 30 2020
well reading this wasn't such a waste of time
π︎ 49
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My kids are such a handful I donβt think one nanny is enough
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I'm going to be such a good cop
π︎ 83
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Why did the farmer need such a long AUX cable for?
To tie his ox
Joke by my 9 year old brother
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Such hardy memes.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because its head is so far from its body.
π︎ 66
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Why was Marty McFly's Delorean in such good condition?
Because he only drove it from time to time.
π︎ 93
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Why did pilots use to have such a hard time flying straight?
All they had was biplanes
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 17 2020
What does the father whale say to his daughter after she thanks him for being such a good dad.
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Why do horse houses have such strong foundations?
Because thatβs the best way to keep it stable.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 16 2020
My wife is returning to the office and thus has to go back to wearing work outfits. One of her complaints was that wearing a bra was such a drag...
Iβve always found them to be very uplifting.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
All my friends have such expansive bucket lists.
Mine is just pail in comparison.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Baseball reporters are such "Karens"...
π︎ 18
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︎ Aug 06 2020
I hate when spiders kill flies, theyβre such buzz killers
π︎ 216
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Why are Jedi such good bakers?
Where there's a whill, there's a whey.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Such beauty
π︎ 102
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︎ May 27 2020
How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks?
Because with great power comes great response ability.
π︎ 53
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Why do melons have such big planned weddings?
π︎ 15
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︎ Sep 09 2020
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