After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...
...he just couldn't part with it.
I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"
I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"
My friend asked if I could explain what the land beside the sea was.
What did the horse say to the horse in the stall beside him?
The grocery stores are bare right now besides some greens.
Only the lettuce romaine.
The Grim Reaper appeared in beside me when I was chopping up some carrots in my kitchen.
He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me. Very scary when you are dicing with death.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...
He shrugged and walked away.
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, “Honey, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,
“Honey, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, “For the third time, yes I can hear you!”
Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, "I love you."
She asked: "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I said: "It's just me talking to the beer."
An atom turns to the atom beside him and tells it a great joke but the other atom doesn't even giggle...
It was no laughing matter.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
Why did the wild ox refuse to eat anything besides gluten free sandwiches?
I want to thank everyone who were always right beside me...
..on the other hand, also the one who never left.
If I had a cloning machine, I'd be beside myself.
Yesterday I witnesseded a very odd behaviour of a shark, it just swam beside other fish without any intention to harm it
I think it followed ocean's ethical cod.
What is the only other situation in which you can say, “I see the sea!”, besides actually looking at the sea?
A car pulled up beside me at the side of the road.
Its driver said, "Excuse me, buddy. I was wondering if you could give me a few directions?"
"Sure...North West and South East," I replied.
While visiting family for Thanksgiving, my wife and I saw a nice bicycle laying, unlocked, beside a tree across the street.
Wife: Huh, looks like someone left their bike there.
Someauthor: No, no. It's lying down because it's two-tired.
Someauthor's Dad: Nice! That was a really good one, well done.
Wife: uugghhhhhhh (with deeper agony)
Someauthor: I think I leveled up.
My dad and I were watching basketball the other day when his dog (Sophie) hopped up onto the couch beside him. He turned to her and said, "Who are you rooting for Sophie? The underDOG??!!!"
Besides watermelon, there should be windmelon, firemelon and earthmelon.
What country besides US and Canada celebrates Thanksgiving?
Twofer: How many seconds are in a year? Besides Tuesday and Thursday what other days start with T?
"You don't know how many seconds are in a year off the top of your head? 12. Jan2 feb2 ....."
"Today and Tomorrow...."
These two got laid on me by the chef at my work cafeteria. The cashier aka crazy Lisa was in stitches making him tell everyone.
My daughter won't eat anything besides her boogers...
Me and my girlfriend walking beside a concrete wall
We were on a holiday in Spain and we saw a concrete wall guarding a yard at someone's house. On top of the wall the owner had clued broken bottles in stead of barbed wire.
Me and my girlfriend were shocked and I said "I can't believe someone would do this."
"I Just can't get over this..."
she didn't realise until I said
"it would just hurt me too much."
Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...
"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!