which doctor? πŸ€”
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/el0ise-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spwf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
β€œWhich support was it?”
πŸ‘︎ 444
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chill_Boi89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleyak99
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest ΞΌ

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Which villain doesn't pay their taxes?

Taxi Vader

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jahmelie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Which bread discovered America?

Crustopher Colombus

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/depressed_idiot0
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Which man did Jaro kill?

https://preview.redd.it/zyvclp2qjkx61.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71048f27b50f7e73283bc35ea167606f6c89d1bc

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me which paddle I wanted to use in the boat...

I answered β€œeither/oar.”

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZENFatherBardock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. β€œHow much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. β€œNothing” I slurred. β€œLook at me!” she shouted. β€œIt’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, β€œIt’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which kind of car problem is worse:

FUBaru, or SNAFubaru?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Which name for a man is the most colourful?

Hugh.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Which mountains have the best nuts?

The Andeez.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/48HoursADay
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Which animals are the biggest nerds?

Fish, because they spend all their time in schools

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Which Star Wars character works in a restaurant?

Darth Waiter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Which bird is always out of breath?

A puffin

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Which program do jedi use to open PDFs?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingkierite
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"

K-Poo.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
On which side of the earth should you build a house?

On the outside

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Which rapper can you find in the refrigerator?

Ice Cube.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourOwnBiggestFan
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
How to tell which end of a worm is the head?

You tickle it. The end that laughs is the head.

Credit: My 7y.o nephew

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Which color is the fastest?

Red, because it is always redy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Master_Mind-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Today, my son asked: "Can I have a bookmark?". To which I instantly started crying

After all these years, he still doesn't know my name is Dave...

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevinvl123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Today is PI day, which always makes me hungry for pie

Now a slice of pie in the United States will set you back $5

But in the Bahamas and Aruba you can buy that same slice of pie for just $1

Yep. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?

Mt. Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/choisays
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
Which superhero is be the best at baseball?

Batman

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbfw86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Which is the astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CantPickCoffee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Which African country is TESLA founder Elon Musk from?

Mad-at-gas-car, obviously.

(It just came to me and I had to share it. I'm so sorry)

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/painfool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?

Gerry can.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzcumberbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Which kidney to take?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is the bird that can do the things that you can do, as well?

The Toocan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?

An ice sickle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeke_Smith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which movie director used to be a lumberjack?

Tiiiiiimbeeeeer-ton

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?

The Dr one

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Which member of the Addams Family loves dead memes?

It is Wednesday, my dudes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phillepips
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Pooh can't calculate the angle at which his friend magically conjured a kitschy garden ornament.

He's not good with tigger-gnome-hat-trick equations.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thvwlsrmssng
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Which one runs faster? Hot or Cold?

Hot, because anyone can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxiCato62
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report

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