which doctor? πŸ€”
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/el0ise-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
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A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 129
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spwf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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β€œWhich support was it?”
πŸ‘οΈŽ 444
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chill_Boi89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/purpleyak99
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest ΞΌ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheseWereThePlaces
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2021
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Which villain doesn't pay their taxes?

Taxi Vader

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/89iroc
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jahmelie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Which bread discovered America?

Crustopher Colombus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/depressed_idiot0
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2021
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Which man did Jaro kill?

https://preview.redd.it/zyvclp2qjkx61.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71048f27b50f7e73283bc35ea167606f6c89d1bc

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ConclusionDistinct84
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2021
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My wife asked me which paddle I wanted to use in the boat...

I answered β€œeither/oar.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 179
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZENFatherBardock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. β€œHow much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. β€œNothing” I slurred. β€œLook at me!” she shouted. β€œIt’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, β€œIt’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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Which kind of car problem is worse:

FUBaru, or SNAFubaru?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2021
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Which name for a man is the most colourful?

Hugh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2021
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Which mountains have the best nuts?

The Andeez.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/48HoursADay
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2021
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Which animals are the biggest nerds?

Fish, because they spend all their time in schools

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/martianrome
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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Which Star Wars character works in a restaurant?

Darth Waiter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2021
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Which bird is always out of breath?

A puffin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/decentname99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Which program do jedi use to open PDFs?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kingkierite
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"

K-Poo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2021
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On which side of the earth should you build a house?

On the outside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/martianrome
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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Which rapper can you find in the refrigerator?

Ice Cube.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/YourOwnBiggestFan
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
How to tell which end of a worm is the head?

You tickle it. The end that laughs is the head.

Credit: My 7y.o nephew

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2021
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Which color is the fastest?

Red, because it is always redy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Master_Mind-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2021
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Today, my son asked: "Can I have a bookmark?". To which I instantly started crying

After all these years, he still doesn't know my name is Dave...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kevinvl123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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Today is PI day, which always makes me hungry for pie

Now a slice of pie in the United States will set you back $5

But in the Bahamas and Aruba you can buy that same slice of pie for just $1

Yep. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?

Mt. Rushmore

πŸ‘οΈŽ 178
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/choisays
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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Which superhero is be the best at baseball?

Batman

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbfw86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2021
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Which is the astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CantPickCoffee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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Which African country is TESLA founder Elon Musk from?

Mad-at-gas-car, obviously.

(It just came to me and I had to share it. I'm so sorry)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/painfool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/psychpopnprogncore
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?

Gerry can.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Snozzcumberbatch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2021
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Which kidney to take?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is the bird that can do the things that you can do, as well?

The Toocan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?

An ice sickle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zeke_Smith
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which movie director used to be a lumberjack?

Tiiiiiimbeeeeer-ton

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2021
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Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?

The Dr one

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2021
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Which member of the Addams Family loves dead memes?

It is Wednesday, my dudes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phillepips
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2021
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Pooh can't calculate the angle at which his friend magically conjured a kitschy garden ornament.

He's not good with tigger-gnome-hat-trick equations.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thvwlsrmssng
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one runs faster? Hot or Cold?

Hot, because anyone can catch a cold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MaxiCato62
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
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