If you spell the words “Absolutely Nothing” backwards, you get “Gnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
Which program do jedi use to open PDFs?
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Today is PI day, which always makes me hungry for pie
Now a slice of pie in the United States will set you back $5
But in the Bahamas and Aruba you can buy that same slice of pie for just $1
Yep. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.
>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.
Which car rental company causes a lot of pain?
I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
If good;
The good news is there is no bad news.
If bad;
The bad news is there is no good news.
Which superhero do the Avengers call when they need their costumes pressed
Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
I have 10 pet geese,out of which 8 speak perfect English.
The last two are Portuguese.
Which animal has mental health issues?
Which African country is TESLA founder Elon Musk from?
Mad-at-gas-car, obviously.
(It just came to me and I had to share it. I'm so sorry)
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
Which one of King Arthur’s knights build the round table?
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
Which musical instrument can be detrimental to your health?
Which animal has the biggest breasts
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?
He suggested, the cash machine .
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
I just opened a package from my dad which contained canned ham.
He told me it was his first attempt at spam mail.
Which bones drive other bones to work?
My daughter said she needs a book by Shakespeare for a class assignment. "Which one?" I asked.
I just donated to this group which helps out stray cats...
I guess I'm a feline-thropist now.
3 ants named A, B, and C were all males. Which one floats the best?
Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
(My dad's a math teacher)
I've written a stage representation of a story in which all lines are puns, and the stage is covered with the pages of a dictionary...
Which language do Mexican snakes speak?
Which digital payment system does the pope use?
How do you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Which optometrist is best?
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.
Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
Which vegetable tells us how old a taxi is?
Which way did the programmer go?
Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Which eye doctor makes you happy?
In which part of Canada are you not allowed to do anything?
Which school supply is king of the classroom?
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