What's the difference between a "male" and a "female"?

Iron.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Very few people know about the first ever female vegan

Nobody has heard of herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
I saw a female horse in my dream

It was a nightMARE

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
What’s it called when a drake chases a female, getting nearer and nearer but never close enough to mate?

Zeno’s pair of ducks

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
The Star Wars series is coming out with a female villain

She'll be able to use the force to raise and lower things.

Her name will be Ella Vader

πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akamark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
The head of Big Cat Rescue and the female antagonist in the hit Netflix documentary has been arrested after holding up an ice cream shop.

Police are reporting that it was Baskin-Robbins.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cashmag3001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
VP Joe Biden announced he has hired a female amputee speech writer.

He said she would be really good at stump speeches.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Male anatomy isn’t the same as female anatomy.

In fact, there’s a Vas Deferens.

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
Why did the cannibalistic Roman slave warrior show no remorse over his recent female victim?

Because he was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs

It was a completely miss-leading report

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitchyPolice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Did you know that all ants are females?

There are no uncles, just aunts.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisfuckingtime
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.

Preferred pronouns are Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Raising chickens at home, just asked my Dad "how do I tell if a baby chick is male or female?"

Dad: "look for the pecker"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pillowblood
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
I got a female dog...

and I named her Karma.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tree_Weasel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Rachel McAdams' height is 5'4, which is the average height of an american female.

She's a mean girl.

πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I believe that venison made from female deer should be classed as a form of bread.

After all, it's cooked doe.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
42M with toilet paper seeking female with hand sanitiser ...

... for some good clean fun

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
I really like books with female protagonists.

It’s almost like I’m addicted to heroine.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chillycheesedawg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
The female doctor that just flirted with me told me I was really sweet

I think her exact words were β€œseverely diabetic”, but I think we all know what she meant.

Stay healthy out there. (From r/memes)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anlenke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female tiger?

Tigerl

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hrishic2327
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
What is the hardest item of clothing for a female French elephant to put on in the morning?

Zebra

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatentGeek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Hey kids! Get in here! We're playing Quake with a bunch of cows, and then watching a Disney live action remake about a legendary female warrior!

It's our Moo-LAN party!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
How often to female prisoners get their period?

Only at the end of their sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_wilson3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Why are detectives fascinated by female trees?

Because they’re all mysteries.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
TV Narrator* This is a mallard. A mallard is a dabbling duck that breeds throughout the world. This one is in search of a mate. A female will lay 8 to 13 eggs.

Duckumentary

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odd-looking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female elf made of Lego?

Legolass

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
Why are al ants females

Otherwise they'd be uncles

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vico__Staps
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do the people say about the female rapper on her menstrual cycle?

She had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadBooJuJu66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Kids, I'm telling you, burgers are ALWAYS female, and I'll prove it to you

let me introduce you to my burger... *drumroll*

Meet patty

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
The male antenna married the female antenna.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was terrific!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anlenke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?

Because cheese grater!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zj_y33t
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Looking for a female shark name pun

I have this weird superhero school project thing. I have the male sharks name (Finnley), but I'm struggling to think of one for a female shark.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusmusk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome?

You pull down its "genes"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smashedmelon618
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Many years ago, all the female Warlocks perished in the desert.

The individual male Warlocks, try as they might, could not master the art of bringing back their counterparts and all seemed lost.

Then, two young Warlocks found that, by working together - one recreating the body while the other recreated the soul - they could bring them back to life from the very sand they died in.

It's crazy but they could finish each other's Sand Witches.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techKnowGeek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why could the flock of female sheep never remember anything? /r/Jokes/comments/f3aoj0/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patchy72
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
How do you know if an ant is a male or a female?

They're all females, otherwise they'd be uncles

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ResponsibleDust0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a female sheep with severe hypothermia go?

The ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_friendly_one
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
This female stranger from the vegetarian restaurant came up to me

I had never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmilioTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Why is the female cow never used as beef?

That would be a Miss STEAK!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brayradberry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...

Ewe do ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Germans must really hate female nouns

They always precede them with "die"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PierogisDevourer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did ancient Egyptian kings use to attract females?

Pharaoh moans.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government.

Lesbionage

πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Omicra98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What Kind of Cosmetics do female Nazi's use?

.

.

.

Lip-Swastik

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CiabanItReal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Female squirrels like to stay close to the males...

... but only 'cause their nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?

Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AciTroniX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call female dirt?

Irt

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brittishboy2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the female body builder’s favorite appetizer?

Buff chick dip

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What sweet turns on a female with a foot fetish?

Men-toes

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/USSR1921
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my physics-loving female friend if she'd ever played with magnets.

She said she ain't no Halbach girl.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt has been inviting several unmarried female friends over to study the Bible and pray a few times a week.

I told her not to make it a habit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huuhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Two female wizards are chatting... the first says to the second, I liked the hat you were wearing last week. The second says...

Witch hat

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clearly-Opaque
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A female protagonist who uses opioids is called a heroin heroine.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CollegeBaby20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Which kind of dinosaur is attracted to both male and female dinosaurs?

A biceratops

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a long race in which only female horses can run?

A mare-athon

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmpersand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a female snake use for support?

A co-Bra!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Female llamas are called...

...Dolly llamas.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt makes female deer meat tender by putting it on the floor and saying her prayers.

It's gives her peace of mind to kneed the doe.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You can tell the sex of ants by gently placing them on water. If they sink they are female, if not they're buoyant.
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexgk91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay female spy?

Lesbionage

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl1tchy1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the female mushroom ask the male mushroom on a date?

He seemed like a fun guy.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm looking for some female physicists to start a band

It's gonna be called The Space Girls

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HashManIndie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do female robots use when it's that time of the month?

ipads.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Texas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A Female Child (Me)Is In No Way A Dad. But I Want To Dad Joke My Dad.

I've got this-

"I can jump higher than tallest tree. Want to know how?"

"How?"

"Trees can't jump."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigChonker420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the female rapper that only battled while she was on her menstrual cycle?

They said she had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisEffinGuyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an attractive female attorney?

prosecutie

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A female pope pun

I thought of this pun in class in university back in the late 90s, and I thought it was funny. I still stand by it, and will do so until I die.

We were discussing the conspiracy that there was possibly a female pope at one time in history. The professor asked how would they even know if a certain pope was female. How would they discover it?

I turned to the guy sitting next to me: "Maybe a Papal smear?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobasNile
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you have 50 female pigs, and 50 male deer?

One hundred "sows and bucks" (100,000 bucks).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFluffyChicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the female rapper who only rapped when she was on her period?

They say she had a mean flow.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/safwan070
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
All the 70s solo female artists seem extremely vain to me.

They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
"Do you have a name or can i call you mine?" - female pokemons hitting on Mr. Mine
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agentFj
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't female roommates share a bra?

Because then it'll become a cobra.

πŸ‘︎ 258
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theBlackBriarWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Last weekend I attended a benefit for females born with no legs

The place was crawling with women.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The cannibal warrior who defeated his female opponent looked very satiated.

He was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iiWizrius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
So there are three female wizards assigned to protect three Rolex time pieces. My only question?

Which witch would watch which watch?

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JHPSwitzer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a female stegosaurus yesterday who said she knew me.

I never met herbivore though.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BananaManChris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The female version of The Bro Code should be called The Sister Act.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MurphysCook
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a Male rectangle sees a female rectangle?

It becomes an erectangle

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alex2502
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Iron Man is FeMale

Refer to the periodic table of elements with questions.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryan56k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I narrowly lost a race to a female catholic.

I was second to nun.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Jackie Chan recently announced that they have received the surgery to transition from male to female. Though, despite this, the most shocking part of this interview was her saying she will no longer be doing her own stunts.

She just doesn’t have the balls anymore

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are boats always given female names?

Because they’re full of seamen

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a female snake use for support?

A co-Bra!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I believe that venison made from female deer should be classed as a form of bread.

After all, it's cooked doe.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_AI_Director93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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