Offspring Puns

A list of puns related to "Offspring"

I was talking to my offspring about classes I wanted to take in the fall.

I said I wanted to take more programming classes because I really liked the one I took last year.

My offspring tells me they can't take any computer classes.

Confused, I asked why.

"Because I'm non-binary"

True story, happened last night. I have never been so proud.

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👤︎ u/ima420r
📅︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren

👍︎ 186
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👤︎ u/90eight
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?

It would've created a parrot-ox.

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👤︎ u/EastlyGod1
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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From my offspring. What is the difference between a dad and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family.

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👤︎ u/not_flexy
📅︎ Jul 01 2020
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What do you a call the offspring of a horse and cow?

How?

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👤︎ u/urfrucked
📅︎ Sep 26 2020
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My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...

It was good father-son-thyme.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 26 2020
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My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 04 2020
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My male offspring gave me homemade whisky!

It's my son-shine

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Dec 26 2019
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Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?

Because they're lion cheetahs.

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👤︎ u/b-dawg
📅︎ Jan 17 2020
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What do you call the offspring of a baseball player?

(Say it slowly) A son of a Pitch-er

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👤︎ u/arboleda180
📅︎ Jul 23 2019
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My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?

Me: Holy shit! How about the married ones?

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 10 2019
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What do you call the offspring of a tire inflator?

Pump kin.

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👤︎ u/rarehighfives
📅︎ Oct 30 2017
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What do you call the male offspring of a number of baked goods?

Sons of batches

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👤︎ u/joshandthewolf
📅︎ Jun 05 2018
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I believe that a chicken's offspring created the universe.

I'm eggnostic.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Feb 04 2019
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What did the buffalo say to his male offspring?

Bison

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👤︎ u/pyrofreeze33
📅︎ Mar 28 2019
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What do you call a *blank*'s offspring?

A blanket.

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👤︎ u/SuspicionCabbage
📅︎ Jun 09 2018
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What did the API engineer name his offspring?

JSON

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👤︎ u/buttengine
📅︎ Jan 04 2019
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When the Offspring play live they all perform on a partitioned stage...

Cause, "You gotta keep 'em separated!"

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👤︎ u/MasterManiacal
📅︎ Dec 06 2018
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The other day I caught my friend talking shit about The Offspring

So I hit him right between the eyes

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👤︎ u/ryanoat
📅︎ Sep 15 2018
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What do you call the offspring of two of the same yeast cultures?

Inbread.

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👤︎ u/T0BBER
📅︎ Oct 24 2018
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Why did the wheat's offspring come out retarded?

Because they were inbread.

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👤︎ u/JWooferZ
📅︎ Jul 12 2015
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Offspring: Dad, what is reddit karma?

It's how I met your mother.

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👤︎ u/exotiah
📅︎ Jun 26 2018
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What are knee offspring called?

Kidneys

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👤︎ u/keepyoureyeson
📅︎ Jan 23 2018
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What do you call a flower's offspring?

An orkid

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👤︎ u/_marther_
📅︎ Apr 03 2017
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My offspring runs up to me with arms open and held high...

Offspring: "Pick me up" Dad: "You look beautiful"

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👤︎ u/Stuffer007
📅︎ Aug 28 2016
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