What creature do you follow to find your way out of a swamp?

A navi-gator.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
I have come to love all of gods creatures.

Especially next to a pile of mashed potatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toweliieee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
Guess what creatures can add 8+3.14159

OctoPi

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
What is Dean Martin's favourite sea creature?

That's a moray.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthBobLoblaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind forest creature?

No idear.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
Told my kids about a mythical creature...

...The Redone D'ant.

It's a creature the size of an ant. But it has the head of an ant, the body of an ant, and the legs of another ant. It's half ant, half other ant.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/STK1369
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actually someone else's turn; the Kraken, or the Minotaur, or the Chupacabra. Eventually it seemed to get on the Satyr's nerves, because he yelled over "pipe down, Mike, we're all sick of you needing to be the Centaur of attention!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbadxampl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
This poor creature hit an iceberg ...

https://i.imgur.com/WjJFNW5.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What sea creature can fly without a wing?

A-balloon-e

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zerio13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."

I saw a yet-i.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

*insert laugh track here*

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Froxaii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Got in a fight with a sea creature that I thought was my friend,

turned out he was anemone.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_QuamTheBomb_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
what types of drugs do sea creatures consume?

seaweed!!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicshopp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Seahorses are truly underachieving creatures...

If they weren't, they'd be called Ahorses!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blastbeast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
The creatures name is actually Sal, but this is no Sal ad.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What imaginary creature has the best comebacks?

The sass-quatch

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What exercise do sea creatures do a lot of ?

The do Plank-tons

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sameowra1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
nuns are literally creatures of habit
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What creature lives only in the past?

The nost-algea.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTord
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Today, in my garden, I came across a creature that was a cross between man and cat!

It was a Manx cat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
OMG, I can't believe Trump wanted Turkey to reveal it's tactics for capturing eight-legged, two-tentacled sea creatures!!!

He tried to do it squid pro quo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This poor sea creature hit an iceberg !...what happens next romaines to be seen.....
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timesuck47
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sea creature with flow?

An Eminemone

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frobi-Wan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call that Creature of the Night that wears black, red and green?

VampIrish

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owls_n_bees
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was rubbing a lamp containing fermented soya beans and suddenly a mythical creature popped up and started making sexist remarks against women.

Miso-Genie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did people dislike the attention seeking mythical creature?

Cuz he was always Frontin’ Centaur

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagdryna
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mythical creature with a cold?

Achoopacabra

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ltdansicecream1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm planning a parody TV show of Stranger Things, but starring river-based forest creatures.

I'm calling it Otter Stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A wild brown rabbit recently became the world's first non-human creature to be charged with a crime and arrested.

Authorities claim he was found to be disturbing the peas.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hell2go
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The queen knighted a sea creature for the very first time.

It was surreal.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJCray8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
One large woodland creature that can’t feel pain, four large woodland creatures that can’t feel pain, three large woodland creatures that can’t feel pain, seven large woodland creatures that can’t feel pain.

I know there is a joke here, but seems like a bunch of random numb bears to me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What ancient, mythical creature do middle-aged women hate most?

The Menopausus

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cicoontour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I've decided to do volunteer work with an organization that builds homes for sea creatures.

It's called habitat for huge manatees.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If George Michael was a blood sucking undead creature, he'd be a Wham!pire.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grynde7
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A scaly creature is not acting the way you'd expect.

A reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Spanish mythical creatures

On seeing the emerging Spanish mythical creatures coming out of the cheese factory, I immediately tried to greet them in their native tongue. I cried "Gorgons! Hola!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisLives231
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..

Lacks Cetacean..

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irorii
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Same as the furry little creature
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecasualcaribou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What furry creature with big ears brings network connectivity to children on a particular Sunday every April?

The Ether-Bunny!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, do you think mom will ever come back?” β€œWho knows son, women are fickle creatures.” β€œShe’s been gone so long. Do you miss her?”

β€œI do son, but men aren’t allowed in the ladies changing rooms.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the heroic fish say when he saw the villainous sea creature?

Oh no, it's my worst anemone!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fajitafighter-EMT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Apparently, when hungry, wild goldfish will attack any other sea creature to steal their food, except for large fish with fins.

Because then they'd they'd be jumping the shark.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Which mystical creature has the softest fur?

The were-wool-f.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call undiscovered ocean creatures?

Sea crits.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Illustrious_Foxx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
If aliens came to Earth and used the creatures here as test subjects, what kind of candy would they create?

Species Pieces.

Every time I come up with one of these, I am simultaneously amused and extremely upset with myself.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
🚨︎ report
When God first created the animals, He realized the sea creatures needed more work.

They were just beta fish

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Creature from the Black Legumes imgur.com/7kCWpRg
πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/journeyman369
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you get a sea creature to play music?

You tuna fish

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicolaskg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man who suffers from the persistent delusion that he's a creature from Irish myth?

A leprechaundriac.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you make a sea creature sound better?

You tuna fish

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicolaskg
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Which sea creature fixes the ocean's instruments?

The tuner fish

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LimeYeti
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a bunch of tentacled sea creatures protest the financial industry?

Octopi Wall Street

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Son, I'm trying to figure out if pterodactyls urinated very loudly, they are massive creatures

But I always thought their P was silent

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kush_Ups
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report
My mom was talking about pairing wine with food: "Some people over complicate it. This one with sea creatures, that one for everything else"

Dad:

> ...'C' creatures... like cows? Chickens?

Mom:

> .............

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameipaul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Are goldfish naturally shy creatures?

Sometimes they're a little koi.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the most fun a sea creature can have?

A whale of a time.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JangSaverem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the type of sea creature that is the hardest to get along with?

Anenemy

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dustyfingers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm working on a book about the dairy consumption of prehistoric creatures..

It's called "The Whey of the Dinosaur."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blanco4prez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
🚨︎ report
"Chickens are nasty, nasty creatures..."

"...that's why they call them fowl."

My speech teacher just laid this one on us.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mthooper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Nuns are creatures of habit.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostwriter623
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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