Into the Spider-Puns
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moonchroom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister asked me for some spider puns...

I told her to look them up on the web.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rockyrho
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2012
🚨︎ report
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?

It's called Shallot's Web

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Mom told me to take out the spider
πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilliCherry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
So spider..

Person: So Spider what's your new year's resolution?

Spider: To spend more time with my family instead of on the web.

(If you don't get it, it is that spiders have a spider web).

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneralA01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Since they are filming Spider-Man 3 near my house, I thought I’d write the lead actor an orchestral piece...

I think I’ll call it β€œMr. Holland’s Opus”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.

He uses his Spider Census.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MotherJoanFoggy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever wonder how spider makes a circle-shaped web perfectly?

Because it's sΟ€der we're talking about.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/obiwankedkenobi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so sure my new hire was Spider-Man

Because his resume said he was a web designer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What's harder to remove from an apartment than six spiders?

Ten ants.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
(True story) My GF asked me to kill a spider in the bathroom today.

It was so small that I couldn't even see it at first. She had to point it out, a tiny brown pinhead crawling up our slightly-darker-brown cabinet about knee-high.

"How did you even see that?" I asked.

And she answered, "With my spider-sense."

I love this woman so, so much.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Itsy Bitsy Spider β€” Dad version

Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!

achoo splat bleah"

Substitute $name for Mia.

Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.

I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoLittlebook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Spider-Man offered to give me spidey powers to invent new quips for him.

I guess you could call it a quip pro quo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!

Peter Porker

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that chef at the Indian restaurant that was bitten by a radioactive spider?

He hoped to receive super strength, but it was just naan-sense.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
This morning I killed a huge spider with my shoe

I don’t care how big a spider is, Nobody steals my shoe!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't spiders eat sweetcorn?

Because they don't like corn on the cobweb

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiniBoglin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I just tried on my Spider-Man pants for a costume party

They look great but the fly keeps getting stuck

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crunchybedsheets
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?

So that he could design his own website.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Spiders

Are the only web developers in the world who like finding bugs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boreddudemo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bird do when it found a spider?

It tweeted out the location of the website.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaFox45
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?

CRAB on your ORGAN. xD

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheXXV_YT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept singing the first line to the Spider-Man song over and over. So we took him to the doctor who gave us the bad news:

Our son was trapped in the spider-verse.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Spiders!
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfKingsCR000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the favourite sport of the ten legged spider?

Tennis

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
"Spider!" yelled my wife from upstairs "bring up the newspaper".

"Fair enough," I shouted back, "which one does he want to read?"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the spider get so fat?

It had too many butterflies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Babbadooka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How do spiders make their web?

They arachknit.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stressmove
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
In Iran everyone is so very afraid of Spiders, but in

Iraq no phobia...

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate when spiders kill flies, they’re such buzz killers
πŸ‘︎ 218
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Spider-Man always have such good comebacks?

Because, with great power comes great response ability

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a unicorn being eaten by a spider?

Unicorn on the cob web

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wiseoldmeme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.

We went out and had beers. Cool guy, very driven, wants to be a web designer.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mer-edith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a spider from the Middle East?

An Iraq-nid.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddenPictures
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out spiders are dizzy all the time.

All they do is spin around.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amenotekijara
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Spider-Man when his hands shake all the time?

Peter Parkinson

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uniformbreak320
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How many spiders does it take to create an app?

None. Spiders don’t make apps; they only design web sites!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a spider’s favourite brand of cooker (oven)?

A Weber.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BanoffeeBoi35
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a spider on my flight today

It was an airachnid

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thr33tard3d
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to take the spider out instead of killing it

Went to the bar, had a few drinks, nice guy, turns out he's a Web designer

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a spider have if it is into spiders with really long legs?

Daddy issues

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

We had some drinks, cool guy, he wants to be a web developer

πŸ‘︎ 187
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do spiders do after getting engaged?

Have a webbing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a spider with 4 legs?

Arthur Spider

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
So instead of killing a spider, I took him out

He was a really nice guy we had a few drinks. He's a web designer

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Edgy_Sama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A spider crawled on my computer

Don't worry it's under CTRL

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.