Import-ant pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Ant jokes

I've seen a few of these so lets get em all out in the open, I'll start with the obvious.

What do you call

  1. a dead ant? Irrelevant.
  2. An apologizing ant? Repentant.
  3. An ant that can paint? Rembrant. (It's actually Rembrandt)
  4. An ant that gives advice? consultant.
  5. the best ant? Triumphant.
  6. an ant that just moved here? Transplant.
  7. An important ant? Significant.
  8. A helpful ant? Assistant.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frayedczar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TorsoHunter
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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If an ant becomes useless....

Is it an irrelevant?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/feather08126
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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What’s the best kind of ant?

The DefendANT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greyfaces
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoffler
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What do you call an ant that never learned to listen?

Ignor(e)ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ericthegonline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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Why are ants immune to the coronavirus?

Because they have anty bodys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theoriginalclarky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Why are ants always intelligent? Because they always have the ANTswer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Wolf9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?

.... because they’re full of anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Finneagan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why did the ant call a repairman?

He needed a new antenna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Why don’t ants get sick?

They have little anty bodies

(Courtesy of my fellow dad LT)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/em_79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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They really mis-named the superhero called "Ant-man"

He should really be called Uncle.

Can't really take credit, my nieces made the joke while watching the movie. Regionally "Aunt" is pronounced as "ant"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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What kind of ant smells the best?

Deodorant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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I know an ant who's been driving ride shares for a while and just switched to Lyft

...he's ex-Uber-ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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I just saw a super big ant

its an eleph-ant

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Ants are cool
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolpopicl-5000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What do you call the acid in an ant?

Ant-acid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Z_Farabi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Why can't ants catch Covid?

They have Anty-bodies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zslayer89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Ten ants...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcil0007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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3 ants named A, B, and C were all males. Which one floats the best?

Boy-ant-C!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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What do ants take when they want to hallucinate ?

Antacid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?

A socially dissed ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurlyHead1002
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have little anty-bodies.

Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BelleskaTROn-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Why does ants don’t bite after they grow taller?

Because they’re tolerant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? (SFW don't worry)

Put them in water. If one floats, it's (a) boyant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LocoEva-7139
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?

Antique

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Single ants can live to be 29 years old. Do you know why?

Because they have little antibodies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snappercop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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I have a business selling foreign ants.

It's Important.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Why were the ants enthusiastic about next month?

They had to MARCH into April.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all his uncles were ants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Saw an Adam & The Ants tribute act

I said β€œyou’re not Adam Ant!”, he said β€œyeah i am.” we argued all night, but he really was adamant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Ant Gender Identifier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanexe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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A group of ant's working together is called

Antibodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k8lin70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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What kind of ants keep coming back?

PersistANTS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Which species of ant is the biggest?

Giants!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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How can you tell the difference between male & female ants

Put them in water. Girl ants sink. The rest are boy-ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Father-o5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I got caught up in a Fire Ant's Nest....

It was Ant-Agonizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aWayCup
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant … dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, DEAD ANNNNT!

πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Why don't ants get sick

Because they have anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
How can you tell the gender of an ant?

Drop it in water. If its sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/db720
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What song do you sing when you step on ants?

Dead ant, dead ant. Dead ant dead ant dead ant, dead ant dead annnnttt, dead-ant-dead-ant-dead-ant

(Tune of Pink panther theme)

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Ever wonder the gender of an ant? Do the water test.

If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats however...

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be called uncles

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFleshGordon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the sex of an ant?

Stick it in water. If it sinks it's a girl ant. If it floats it's a buoyant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/88reader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get sick

Because they have Ant-ibodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whydatduck66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Why don't ants get sick

Because they have little antibodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manukitten2144
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the sex of an ant? You drop it in water. It sinks: girl ant. It floats:...

Boy ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plap12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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