The Great Insect Pun Thread

Start praying man, β€˜tis the season.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileBrowns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
The teacher looked at Bobby and asked, "Did you write these horrible insect puns on the blackboard?"

Bobby: "I didn't do it, katydid."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
You should hear about my insect puns

They’re un bee-lievable Let’s just hope they don’t fly over your head Do they bug you?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonShine-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Anyone else hate insect puns? They really bug me
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to one of those insect restaurants, and the service was terrible

Apparently it’s because fly-tipping is not allowed!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
An insect once asked R.Kelly if he could prove he was innocent

He said β€œI believe i can, fly”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeisalone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?

Mesquite-o.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinsfamousch1li
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call an insect who’s good in bed?

A slaying mantis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColaNaught
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I thought I had an insect on my pants.

It was just my fly.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahemkeidb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
What kind of insect helps people with their taxes?

An accountant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
My friend is an artist who specializes in sketching pesky insects. She also rarely showers...

She draws flies and gnats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous insect?

The hepatitis bee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
What insects produce milk?

Boo Bees

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
What insect is bad at football ?

A FumbleBee

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Why do military bases have such little amounts of insects?

Because they are strict no-fly zones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minecraftepic420
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
"Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing an insect buzzing around me"

"Don't worry it's just a bug that going around"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call insects that bite you during worship?

Mosque-itos.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jomr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Is insect spray good for wasps?

No, it kills them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What insect do hound-dog hate

Mosquitooooooww

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJPokemon
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
What kind of insect can kill germs?

A disinfect-ant.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Which insect smells the best?

Deodor-ant.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
As an owner of a nightclub, I had small insects discourage unsavory types from entering my establishment...

They were my deter ants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross the lover of the Russian queen and a flying insect?

Wa Wa Wasputin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyArnoldPalmer2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when someone dies from drinking insect spray?

Insecticide

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cosmic_Kitten
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood...

He has a nervous tick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?

It wanted to be a Roman-tic

ETA: a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkyTheHatMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
What's the best smelling insect?

A deoder-ANT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bk2mummy4u
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend wanted me to choose which parasitic insect egg he would eat...

But I hate to nit pick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an undercover insect?

A spyder.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkDeathDragon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I doubted the gorgon when she said she could turn me into an insect grip, but then I saw her face...

...now I'm a bee lever.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
What's an insects favorite drug?

Antacid.

(Sorry)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xx_Hedshot_xX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When my friend, a CIA agent, arrived at the hotel in Syria, dead insects were scattered all over the floor...

He had to sweep for bugs.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do ghosts go to scare away all of the insects?

Boo-da-pest.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The animated flick about honey collecting insects from 2007 wasn't a blockbuster...

... because it was a Bee movie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kahooki
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of insect is hard to understand?

A Mumble-bee. I work in the Garden Center at a DIY store and this joke is the best I can come up with ATM lol.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it if an insect with a stinger is very tasty?

It is beelicious.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScaryPottedPlant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of insect is bad at football?

A fumble-bee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Which insect beats the ant for the title of the hardest working?

Flies. They’re always on duty.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheweduproach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an insect born without a mouth?

A mute ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacquarianTaco1
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The bank hired a scientist who specializes in small insects.

He’s an expert in fine ants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve developed an exercise routine for insects, but it isn’t going that well.

I’m still trying to work out the bugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Jack Black made a new insect repellent

He's calling it Tenacious DEET.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luonnon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a insect's favorite letter?

Bee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sub_Urban_Skunk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I complained to the landlord about having 10 insects in the flat... He said it's the previous tenant's fault.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Which part of an insect is the coolest?

The bee’s knees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarlikeDisco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My house is infested with insects, but at least they are helping me with my taxes.

They're account ants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My family doesn't pay attention to me. I asked my son what his favorite insect is, and what do I get?

Crickets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a large green insect on my car window earlier

Must have been a glasshopper

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duke_Arutha
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do insects go to eat fruit?

Applebee’s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisasu28
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the experoment where they taught insects to use microsoft office?

The whole thing was Excel Ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimbobobaboBob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive

Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harvest86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Insect rescue

Recently a moth flew into our sliding glass door and fell to the ground. It must have been stunned and barely conscious. Luckily, I was able to revive it using mouth to moth resuscitation!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbakernola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dissatisfied insect?

A grumble bee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshsmellow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that for wingless insects, males will float and females will sink?

That's how you know they're buoyant

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister became very nervous after eating insects

She got butterflies in her stomach

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinotm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I walked into the biology lab, and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.

I said, β€œI think your fly is open.”

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tiny insect with a bottle of Febreeze?

A deodorant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShesGotSauce
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What insect wears tiny sneakers?

Shoo flies

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
If insects were psychoactive or intoxicating...

...I guess the new slogan would be:

"Friends don't let friends use bugs."

(Hey, I'm winging it here.)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend recently bought some traps to help with our insect infestation but they haven’t been successful.

I had to let her know that we’ll need to find a different ANTS-er.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadedShred
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
From my 6yo nephew: What’s the name of the biggest insect?

L. F. Ant!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my friend I needed an insect to prove my innocence in court...

He told me to use an Aphid David.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavetheTurnip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the insect researcher’s favourite car?

A bug-gy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat insect?

Man-tits

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ash_Holes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?

Ten-Ants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchRichie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call horns for insects?

Ant-lers

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Which insects work for the FBI?

The spy-ders.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an insect that doesn't do what you say?

Non compli-ant

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realradishreturns
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the worst-smelling insect in the world?

De-odor-ant

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Resident_Skroob
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.

It's Rome ants.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which insect has the best sense of smell?

The Scentipede!!!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipesey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a modest insect?

A Humblebee

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datinyboss
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I just found a talk show for insects and parasites.

Its called "Tick Talk."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was friends with a guy that cross bred insects.

I liked him ar first, but soon got tired of his ant ticks.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't stand people who make insect jokes,

They're really annoying to bee around

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FineAvarice
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw a large flying insect coughing up blood.

I think it's got tuberculocust.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabbid_Goat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the temple of insects standing on?

Cater-pillars.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?

A diplognat!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the insect’s favourite type of clothing?

P-ants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A researcher working in a biology lab is brought two insects to dissect...

A cricket, and a tick.

He decides to start with the larger one, the cricket, and proceeds to put it under a microscope and carefully rip the dead insect apart writing down the results. Nothing unusual.

Moving on, he goes back to the delivery petri dish and notices the tick is missing.

He searches around for some time but the bugger is nowhere to be seen. Just before giving up he notices it crawling on his hand. Before the tick can bite him, he expertly grabs it and throws it under the microscope.

He turns it to the highest magnification and says to himself: "Let's see what makes you tick."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoffKalast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flying insect that has curly hair?

A frizzbee

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What bird is constantly surprised by the amount of insects.

Cormorant

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summinspicy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Some insects have converted to Islam in Ecuador's capital.

Mosque Quito.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Which insects have the best memories?

US bees.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Hear about the criminal organization for winged insects?

It is called the Mothia.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a modest insect?

A Humble Bee

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReLar_Timme
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Jello has created a product that deters insects.

It's very effective, but the flavor is OFF-pudding.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HelluvaCaucasian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
If a male insect can float it is boy ant.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What type of insect keeps falling over

A tumble-bee

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patrick0B
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I just made up joke about insects

I did it on the fly

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m trying to develop a fitness routine for pet insects.

I’m working out the bugs.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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