A dung beetle walks into a bar
And says is this stool taken?
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︎ May 24 2021
What did the dung beetle say while working the counter at McDonalds?
You want flies with that?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 24 2021
Did you know that most beetles are insects?
The rest of them are cars.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Beatle in a Beetle in a Beetle
π︎ 160
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Dung Beetles know how to keep their shit together
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︎ Aug 23 2020
What does an elephant and an old beetle have in common?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 18 2020
This vaccination VW Beetle: "The Flu Bug"
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︎ Aug 06 2019
I answered the door this morning. A 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me a fat old man...
Apparently there's a nasty bug going round!
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 14 2019
Beetle juicing on r/beetlejuicing
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︎ May 10 2019
There's a beetle in my room
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Why was the dung beetle late for the party?
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Someone asked me, if I were forced to, would I eat a big beetle or a small one?
I chose the smaller one of course! Itβs the lesser of the two weevils.
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 10 2018
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall into a ravine on the other side...
...needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
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︎ Dec 20 2018
Whatβs a dung beetleβs favorite app?
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 27 2018
Two beetles run into each other in a week old baguette
One says to the other, 'I thought I was the only beetle around these parts. Where are you from?'
The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'
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︎ Mar 06 2018
My pen pal in Jordan has a job at a horror house. He dresses up as a large beetle and chases people.
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︎ Aug 18 2018
Did you hear about the new Dung Beetle Simulator?
That shit's gonna be ballin'.
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︎ Jul 02 2013
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 23 2015
Daughter comes out of bathroom screaming about a beetle on the floor
Is it John, George, Paul or Ringo?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 01 2015
Me: "That's a big beetle!"
Dad: "Is it a Liverpool Beetle?"
Me: "I don't know...what do they look like?"
Dad: "When they're young they have long shaggy black hair and wear a suit. When they get older they look like hippies but vary..."
Me: "Just stop, dad."
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 29 2015
While doing yard work, I found a beetle on my glove...
Me: "Oh, hey, there's a beetle on my glove!"
Dad: "Which one? John, Paul, Ringo, or George?"
Me: "...Ugh. Jeez."
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︎ Jul 10 2014
Driving down the road with my dad and he sees an old Volkswagen beetle without the rear hood...
"Hey, you can see all the junk inside her trunk."
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 16 2014
Dad dropped this while I was trying to kill a beetle.
Me: Stomping on beetle
Dad: What are you doing over there?
Me: Trying to kill this beetle.
Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney?
Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It's the stupid kind that doesn't DIE!
Dad: ...Well we know it isn't Lennon.
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︎ Dec 17 2013
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
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︎ Jan 29 2021
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says
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︎ Feb 15 2021
A dung beetle walks into a bar...
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︎ Jan 30 2021
A dung beetle walks into the bar
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A dung beetle walks into a bar...
and says to the bartender, "Excuse me, is this stool taken?"
π︎ 44
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︎ Sep 01 2020
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 01 2020
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks the bartender
π︎ 101
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︎ May 28 2019
A dung beetle walks into a bar and he says to the bartender...
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︎ Jul 04 2018
A dung beetle walks into a bar ..
.. and asks, βIs this stool taken?β
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 23 2019
A dung beetle walked into a bar and said
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︎ Oct 13 2018
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