Of course, houses don't jump at all
He orders a beer from the bartender who says to him, "Hey, you know we got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies, "You've got a drink named Fred?"
Because they're in sects.
A preying mantis.
P.S. I proceeded to call myself ingenious after making this while pointing at the jeans I was wearing.
We’re in-sects
He had found a flashlight on his bike ride when this happened http://imgur.com/BgSjzfD
A mo-squito...
Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'
Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'
Bee was making a list for her New Year’s Eve party. She asked her friend Grasshopper for help.
“Who should I invite?” “How about those ants that’ve been your next door neighbors for years? You invite them every year.” “I guess so… I find them a bit old-fashioned though.” “I think they’re quaint. Also you should invite the new young ant family down the street.” “Yeah, they seem so nice.”
Bee sent out most of her invites but in her rush forgot her next door neighbors. New Year’s Eve came and the party started at Bee’s house. Grasshopper came early to help Bee out as always, and noticed the unsent invites on the counter. Oh well, too late. The doorbell rang and Grasshopper went to open the door. It was the ants from next door.
And so it came to be that Grasshopper said to himself on New Year’s Eve:
“Shoot, the older quaint ants Bee forgot.”
Our son came running into the house, and breathlessly asked, "when are we going to replace those stairs?"
Husband asks him, "why would we replace the stairs?"
Meanwhile, I'm trying to consider all the possible ways a kid could manage to damage a concrete stoop.
Son says, "I don't trust them, they're always up to something."
Without missing a beat, husband responds with, "they've been supporting you your entire life, I think they've earned your trust by now."
Better luck next time, young Grasshopper.
"you've got a drink named Eugene?"
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"
The grasshopper replies, “Really? You have a drink named ‘Steve’?”
The bartender says: "We have a drink named after you."
Grasshopper says: "You have a drink named Steve?"
The bartender says “we have a drink named after you.” Grasshopper says “Really, you got a drink named Steve”
The grasshopper responds, “Norman?”
He orders a beer. The bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper says "you have a drink named Gus?"
The bartender says “what’ll it be?” Grasshopper says “I’m not sure any suggestions?” Bartender says “well you know we have a drink named after you!” Grasshopper says
“you have a drink named Carl Tillerson?!?”
The bartender says "Hey, did you know we have a drink that is named after you?"
The grasshopper looks at him, puzzled. Then says "You make a drink named Steve?"
- "you have a drink named Steve?"
