I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...
Always trying to get the symphony vote.
How many fire flies does it took too screw in a light bulb?
No one knows exactly, but it takes a lot. They aren't that bright.
My friends say I make too many action movie puns.......
I told them I can't help it, old habits DIE HARD.
Do you know how to tell someone tells too many bad jokes at a butcher shop?
Cuz even the beef gets corny
What do you call it when too many people become stupid all at once?
My wife left me because I made too many Linkin Park references
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
Me when people tell me I make too many puns
I’ve seen way too many Hindsight is 2020 jokes tonight.
I should’ve seen it coming, but... you know.
My wife left me because I made too many Green Day references
Do you have the time to listen to me whine
I got kicked out of my poetry club because I made too many Linkin Park references
But who could rock a rhyme like this?
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.
It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.
I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.
What do you call it if you die from eating too many chickpeas?
Too dangerous to be left alive
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
They renamed the charger for the iphone.
Now they just call it apple juice.
I have made myself too many places to store books.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
Proud of my son coming up with this joke.. Doctor: don’t eat too many apples...
Otherwise you will turn into an Iron man
How many germs are there in Germany ?
I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.
My wife locked me out for telling too many corny, obnoxious word play jokes...
Now I’m outside banging and hollering
‘Oh PUN the door!!!’
‘Oh PUN the door!!!’
My grandfather died after eating too many gingerbread houses last Christmas.
Doctors said it was munch housin’ syndrome.
How many Freudian Slips does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb, and one to hold me, mother hold the ladder.
The guy who did my urinalysis made way too many jokes to be a professional
It was a complete pisstake
If you have too many 12s…
His Outlook is not too good
I have way too many gloves
If anyone wants them, you're welcome to take them off my hands
I went to buy some bees from a beekeeper, I asked him for 100 bees and he counted out 110. I said "No, no that's too many" He replied...
"Dont worry, those are freebees"
Had too many drinks at the pub last night, so the lads suggested I leave the car there and take the bus home.
Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.
I never understood why this guy hosts so many tournaments.
How many problems do people have with Comcast?
So many people these days are too judgmental
I can tell just by looking at them
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. The real question is, how did they get in there?
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
- This left ear, his right ear, and space, the final frontier.
Too many people have been making COVID-19 jokes
I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts
Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
How many mexicans does it need to change a light bulb ?
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
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