What do you call an evil anteater?

Ardth Varker

👍︎ 5
📅︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Scientists definitively confirmed today that anteaters are incapable of contracting coronavirus.

This is because they're filled with anty bodies.

👍︎ 92
👤︎ u/four12pls8
📅︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?

Are euchidding me?

Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/montebella2017
📅︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Wy don't anteaters get sick?

Beasuse they are full of anti-bodies.


👍︎ 117
👤︎ u/Skaarj
📅︎ Sep 15 2015
🚨︎ report
4yo asks: What if I really was an ant?

During dinner, I compared how Son #2 [4yo] was eating his spaghetti to an anteater. This sparked the following conversation.

Son #2: "What if I really was an ant?"

Son #1 [7yo]: "Then you wouldn't really eat very much spaghetti. Ants eat just a little because they're so small."

Me: "Well, did you know it's pretty likely that, eventually, your sister will grow up to be an aunt?"

Daughter [5yo]: "What?"

Me: "Yeah, all it'll take is for one of you boys to have a kid. Then, she'll turn into an aunt."

[Kids look confused. Son #1 has worked out the pun, is rolling eyes.]

Wife: "He's right. We helped do it to Auntie Leah."

[It clicks.]

Daughter: "Oooooh, Daaad."

👍︎ 2k
👤︎ u/chaosTechnician
📅︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Curiosity killed the cat...

but alliteration attacked the anteater.

👍︎ 2
👤︎ u/FyreFlu
📅︎ Feb 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjokes at the zoo

My wife and I took our daughter, niece, and nephew to the zoo today. We were standing in front of the anteater exhibit when I protectively put my hand in front of my wife and whispered, "watch out, you don't want to get too close to these things..."

My neice: "Why not??"

Me: "Oh you're fine. It's her (indicating my wife). These things are aunteaters."

slight pause followed by collective groan

👍︎ 11
👤︎ u/killboy
📅︎ Apr 18 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.