An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "How about something to eat?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "What about some peanuts?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why was the anteater so lonely?

Cause there’s no such thing as an uncle-eater

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinAteJiminsJams
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Scientists definitively confirmed today that anteaters are incapable of contracting coronavirus.

This is because they're filled with anty bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/four12pls8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do you call an evil anteater?

Ardth Varker

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?

Are euchidding me?

Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/montebella2017
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Wy don't anteaters get sick?

Beasuse they are full of anti-bodies.

:)

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skaarj
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
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ANTYbodies
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Fish08
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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4yo asks: What if I really was an ant?

During dinner, I compared how Son #2 [4yo] was eating his spaghetti to an anteater. This sparked the following conversation.

Son #2: "What if I really was an ant?"

Son #1 [7yo]: "Then you wouldn't really eat very much spaghetti. Ants eat just a little because they're so small."

Me: "Well, did you know it's pretty likely that, eventually, your sister will grow up to be an aunt?"

Daughter [5yo]: "What?"

Me: "Yeah, all it'll take is for one of you boys to have a kid. Then, she'll turn into an aunt."

[Kids look confused. Son #1 has worked out the pun, is rolling eyes.]

Wife: "He's right. We helped do it to Auntie Leah."

[It clicks.]

Daughter: "Oooooh, Daaad."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Curiosity killed the cat...

but alliteration attacked the anteater.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FyreFlu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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Dadjokes at the zoo

My wife and I took our daughter, niece, and nephew to the zoo today. We were standing in front of the anteater exhibit when I protectively put my hand in front of my wife and whispered, "watch out, you don't want to get too close to these things..."

My neice: "Why not??"

Me: "Oh you're fine. It's her (indicating my wife). These things are aunteaters."

slight pause followed by collective groan

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killboy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"How about something to eat?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"What about some peanuts?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"

The anteater replies, "I was born with it!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report

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