My pet aquatic mammal died today

Now my life has no porpoise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alanmies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.

It was otter chaos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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So I bought a large mammal repellant spray recently, and I absolutely cannot stand the smell!

It's unbearable!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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Who is Geralt's favourite sea mammal?

Hugh Manatee

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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What do you call a mammal in the military?

G.I raffe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greywind721
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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What do you call it when you deflect a sword thrust from a semi-aquatic mammal?

Parry the Platypus!

πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranktheSirMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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People might think a restaurant exclusively for sea mammals seems pointless...

But I know it will serve a porpoise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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I don't understand marine mammals

What porpoise do they serve

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiddiediddler69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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A friend of mine asserts that she loves all animals. However, I did point out to her the distain she holds for large African water-dwelling mammals.

I just think she’s being a bit hippo critical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why did the four-legged semiaquatic carnivorous mammal cross the playground?

To get to the otter slide.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squibblezombie
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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I don't understand why aquatic mammals are even necessary.

I mean, what porpoise do they serve?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FickleFoundation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.

I didn't get the porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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What do you call a marine mammal in a vat of dark blue paint?

A navy seal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tillmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Why do people not believe a tree when it claims that it's a mammal?

It was all bark, and no bite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boozerweight
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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What kind of mammal likes to strip?

A polar bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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I found an enormous marine mammal that weighs 2.2lbs.

It's a kilo whale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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What do you get if you cross a mammal with a reptile?

Most probably sued by the Humane Society.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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What do you call an Australian mammal that's been turned into a large flat dish?

A platterpus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I went to the circus and saw a wet flying mammal performing stunts.

He was an aquabat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamstringent
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What is the biggest mammal that lives in a palace?

The prince of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbwanderski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Thanks for turning me into the spermatozoan of a large sea mammal, Dad.

You're whale cum, son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuLongDong
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?

They're both Hippocrates.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarrenWaters
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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Why don't zoos open after their aquatic mammals die?

There would be no porpoise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
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You have to go to the Aquatic mammals exhibit when you're stoned

It's a hippopotamust

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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I just wrote a story about small long-eared mammals. I call it Toupee.

It's a hare piece.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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Some aquatic mammals at Florida zoos escaped

It was otter chaos!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elevengoodies
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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Some water mammals are pretty normal...

...but some are otter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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Reading a paper looking at the difference between limb development in snakes & mammals someone asked what the composition of the snake genome is

I said: I bet it contains a lot of hisssstidines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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What did the Andean mammal say when it was time to go on vacation?

Alpaca suitcase!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tlkshwhst
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
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I don't understand why aquatic mammals are even necessary

I mean, what porpoise do they serve?

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report

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