The other day I met a whale who insists he’s the most honest mammal in the world.

But I don’t know... I still say there’s something fishy about him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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What's a small, carnivorous mammal's favorite mafia game?

A mongoose :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Epickitty_101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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Where do large sea mammals go to get their body mass measured?

The Whale-weigh station

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.

It was otter chaos.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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My pet aquatic mammal died today

Now my life has no porpoise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alanmies
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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So I bought a large mammal repellant spray recently, and I absolutely cannot stand the smell!

It's unbearable!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2020
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I don't understand marine mammals

What porpoise do they serve

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kiddiediddler69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2019
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Who is Geralt's favourite sea mammal?

Hugh Manatee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrBoon_forgot_his_pw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2020
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What do you call a mammal in the military?

G.I raffe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/greywind721
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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A friend of mine asserts that she loves all animals. However, I did point out to her the distain she holds for large African water-dwelling mammals.

I just think she’s being a bit hippo critical.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2019
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People might think a restaurant exclusively for sea mammals seems pointless...

But I know it will serve a porpoise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2019
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I don't understand why aquatic mammals are even necessary.

I mean, what porpoise do they serve?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FickleFoundation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2019
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Why did the four-legged semiaquatic carnivorous mammal cross the playground?

To get to the otter slide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Squibblezombie
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.

I didn't get the porpoise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UniversalHeatDeath
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2019
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Why do people not believe a tree when it claims that it's a mammal?

It was all bark, and no bite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Boozerweight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2019
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What do you call a marine mammal in a vat of dark blue paint?

A navy seal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tillmonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
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I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2019
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I found an enormous marine mammal that weighs 2.2lbs.

It's a kilo whale.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2019
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What kind of mammal likes to strip?

A polar bear

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2019
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What do you get if you cross a mammal with a reptile?

Most probably sued by the Humane Society.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2018
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What do you call an Australian mammal that's been turned into a large flat dish?

A platterpus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2018
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I went to the circus and saw a wet flying mammal performing stunts.

He was an aquabat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iamstringent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2018
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What is the biggest mammal that lives in a palace?

The prince of Wales

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mbwanderski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2018
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What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?

They're both Hippocrates.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WarrenWaters
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2018
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Thanks for turning me into the spermatozoan of a large sea mammal, Dad.

You're whale cum, son.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TuLongDong
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2018
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Why don't zoos open after their aquatic mammals die?

There would be no porpoise

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2017
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I just wrote a story about small long-eared mammals. I call it Toupee.

It's a hare piece.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2017
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You have to go to the Aquatic mammals exhibit when you're stoned

It's a hippopotamust

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2018
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Reading a paper looking at the difference between limb development in snakes & mammals someone asked what the composition of the snake genome is

I said: I bet it contains a lot of hisssstidines.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2016
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What did the Andean mammal say when it was time to go on vacation?

Alpaca suitcase!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tlkshwhst
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2016
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I don't understand why aquatic mammals are even necessary

I mean, what porpoise do they serve?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Some aquatic mammals at Florida zoos escaped

It was otter chaos!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/elevengoodies
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report

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