My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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My wife when I won't stop making animal puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turboboob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Animal puns πŸ‘Œ
πŸ‘︎ 703
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Venrathim823
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Nothing like good old animal puns
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAWSco
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Just wanted to share this animal pun card I made. :)
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csunshiney
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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People get mad at me for always making marine animal puns.

I said, "Sorry, I don't do it on porpoise"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Your Best Animal Puns!!!

Let's see what you can doe...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaladinNerd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2012
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My friend made a animal pun

It was terribull

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sulphurbrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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Animals puns for wedding tables...

We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.

Reddit, how can we improve these?

Moose - I find you amoosing.

Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.

Owl - Owl always love you.

Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.

Skunk - I stink you're sweet!

Bunny - Everybunny loves you!

Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?

Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.

Wolf - Wolf you marry me?

Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!

Turtle - You're turtley amazing.

Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.

Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.

Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!

Raven - Can't stop raven about you.

Turkey - I could just gobble you up

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TonyMcConkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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Animal Puns?

Toucan play that game

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pats5lyfe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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Great Animal Puns and Pun Pics puntenialtimes.com/animal…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punwriter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2013
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Yes a animal pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Msusparten130
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2012
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Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeke_Smith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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What do call an animal that knows if you're lying?

Sealion

πŸ‘︎ 222
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Passw0rdSUCKS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I went to the zoo the other day but the only animal there was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebellionRob75
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?

State-of-the-Ark technology

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

....

It was a shitzu.

EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gomass4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?

The escapegoat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cd1cj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What is the coolest animal?

Frogs, they eat Fly for breakfast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlr_102706
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Which animal runs all day and smells of pork?

A hamster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyNetF1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea...

They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What's a cow's favorite animal?

A mooooooose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadeTreeMechanix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I really thought that animal was a horse, but then I asked it "Are you a horse?"

It said "Neigh"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heridfel37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.

wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SocialPerformer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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My ex actually has 3 spirit animals:

Lion, Ass, Cheetah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/medimanager
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.

He started pointing them out to me.

"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."

++++++++++++++++++

I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.

I like it. I'm proud of myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What’s America’s favorite animal ?

A desert eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudSteeple
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I have a problem. My wife steals animals from the zoo and hides them in our house.

I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Whats the difference between a human and an animal?

You can legally put down one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingxjulian0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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My daughter keeps putting my golf visors on all of her stuffed animals

She told me they call her the queen advisor

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What do you get when you cross a milking animal and a mathematical device?

A Cowculator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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As a newly qualified vet, I'm now allowed to treat animals.

Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What animals love to live in a sewer?

Turdles.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

A laughing stock!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a Scandinavian who does eat animal products?

Norvegan!

Edit: doesn't, not does. I'm a donkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fred1840
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.

I think it was Scampoo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deceze
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,

but had to take them back as the seal was broken...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I saw a big animal during the safari. I think it was an elephant

but what do rhino.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I asked my farmer friend, β€œCan you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”

He said, β€œYou bet your ass.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?

Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What area of mathematics are farm animals proficient?

Cowculus

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMoist23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Which animal won’t share the shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.

I call it β€œBest bets for vetting vets for vets”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I can't bear animal puns
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2017
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