Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
He only went for a gander
But I’m broke and I hear they come with a huge bill.
The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."
The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.
The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"
The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.
The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"
The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.
The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Vet: "I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's toucan fusing."
Why do people take rocks for granited?
I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.
Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.
He was a master of the duck shun.
It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.
I might have to get my back checked out.
He was very unhoppy
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
... so I bought a seal iron
I said, “That seems pointless.”
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
because he’s my newt.
Siamese fighting fish are Betta!
Dad: Because it’s a Spy Duh!!
Me- “You gave me one too many”
Shopkeeper- “that one is a freebie”
Because they are not allowed to have people anymore.
You hit rock bottom!
I have been milking that excuse for weeks now.
He said, “Pets are just a step backwards.”
Police have no leads to investigate
It’s considered to be a personal fowl.
Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.
I woke up with the hare standing on the back of my neck.
It's having a hisssssssssssyfits
He has awwtism.
All byte, no bark
It’s just like a pet dog, only the bark is quieter.
He’s very unhoppy.