Puppy bowl puns
So I’m reffing a local puppy bowl (where a bunch of puppies up for adoption play “football” with each other). As the ref I need to say funny football puppy puns whole time such as “ruffing the passer”. Any ideas on good football puppy puns? Thanks.
Did you hear about the sad puppy that only eats cantaloupe?
He’s a little melon collie.
What do you call a puppy that gets into everything?
How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?
Bring out the doggy paddle.
I think my puppy might be a train...
all she does is chew, chew, chew.
My husband says I like to rescue stray puppies.
You could call it my pet project.
I’ve never understood why baby dogs are called puppies...
When they could be called subwoofers
Why was the dog fined after she had puppies?
My puppy chewed my Birkenstocks to shreds!
My dad adopted a puppy today and wants to name him ‘Stay’...
That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.
A man goes into a pet store to buy a puppy to keep his horses company in their stable.
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
the puppy test
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
- Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
- Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
- Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
- Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
- Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
- Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
- Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
- Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
- Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
- Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
- Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
- Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
- Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
- When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
- Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
- Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
- Always go straight home after work or school
- Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
- Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
- Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
Why shouldn’t you shave a puppy?
Because then it would be a little bare.
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
Why should you put mustard on a puppy with a fever?
Because it's the best thing for a hot dog
My son asked me what a male puppy is called
I told him there called son’s of bitches
Why did the sled dog puppy shop in the Big & Tall store?
5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
I bought a puppy from a blacksmith earlier
Right away when we got home he made a bolt for the door.
After having a few puppies, my dog tried to make a dad joke about his balls, but
My Vet said our puppy requires supervision at all times.
I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?
I sent him a photo of my puppy and this ensued
Always buy two puppies
You should always buy two puppies and name them 'one' and 'two'
Incase one runs away, you still have two.
I've got a puppy that's quite smart, but won't stop chewing on everything
So I named him gnaw-it-all
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
Did you see you dog had puppies?
ViCiOuS ShArK EaTs PoOr PuPpY
“There’s a puppy on that girls shirt.”
Dogwalker took puppy out in the rain
What do you call a yorky puppy?
My puppy left a permanent mark on me..
What did the puppy say to the Skelton?
Why was the puppy comedian unsuccessful?
Terrible timing. He always told his jokes without any paws.
I'm thinking of enrolling my puppy in school
I want her to get her dog-ree
My dog mated with a bird the other month, so I have some puppies for sale
If groups of kittens and puppies are called litters...
...is a failure to spay or neuter your pet considered littering?
My girlfriend said we need to take the puppy to the vet, I don’t know what she means.
I think we have to take him to the dogtor
What’s a puppy’s favorite type of bread? :)
A dog gave birth to puppies this morning
The dog was given a fine for littering
Just named my new girl puppy "Karma"
When you buy two puppies, name them One and Two.
In case you lose one, you still have two.
Did you hear about the sad puppy that only eats cantaloupe?
He’s a little melon collie...
A dog gave birth to puppies on the sidewalk
She was ticketed for littering.