Puppy bowl puns

So I’m reffing a local puppy bowl (where a bunch of puppies up for adoption play β€œfootball” with each other). As the ref I need to say funny football puppy puns whole time such as β€œruffing the passer”. Any ideas on good football puppy puns? Thanks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tribebro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve never understood why baby dogs are called puppies...

When they could be called subwoofers

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleTevis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..

or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"

(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn’t you shave a puppy?

Because then it would be a little bare.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sled dog puppy shop in the Big & Tall store?

He was a little husky.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CassandraEntendre
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what a male puppy is called

I told him there called son’s of bitches

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memey-boi099
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
the puppy test

Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

  1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
  2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
  3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
  4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
  5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
  6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
  7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
  8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
  9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
  10. Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
  11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
  12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
  13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
  14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
  15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
  16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
  17. Always go straight home after work or school
  18. Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
  19. Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
  20. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
    Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....

Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you put mustard on a puppy with a fever?

Because it's the best thing for a hot dog

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLMR56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a puppy from a blacksmith earlier

Right away when we got home he made a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
After having a few puppies, my dog tried to make a dad joke about his balls, but

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cobblecloth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My Vet said our puppy requires supervision at all times.

I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyinDanskMen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a puppy that's quite smart, but won't stop chewing on everything

So I named him gnaw-it-all

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Always buy two puppies

You should always buy two puppies and name them 'one' and 'two'

Incase one runs away, you still have two.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glen192010
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I sent him a photo of my puppy and this ensued
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImElyk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...

...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see you dog had puppies?

It’s become apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drumduder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œThere’s a puppy on that girls shirt.”

no, that’s a top dog

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
ViCiOuS ShArK EaTs PoOr PuPpY
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Puppy’s favourite spot.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackEyedBroad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What a carefree puppy
πŸ‘︎ 876
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Algerian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a yorky puppy?

A new yorky

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musical-Comic-69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
When you buy two puppies, name them One and Two.

In case you lose one, you still have two.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Dogwalker took puppy out in the rain
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenVera
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My puppy left a permanent mark on me..

He’s a shar pei.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the puppy comedian unsuccessful?

Terrible timing. He always told his jokes without any paws.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do puppies sleep?

In a ruff pile

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kshiau
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sad puppy that only eats cantaloupe?

He’s a little melon collie...

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of enrolling my puppy in school

I want her to get her dog-ree

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/turnturn1225
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the puppy say to the Skelton?

Throw a dog a bone

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynrui
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said we need to take the puppy to the vet, I don’t know what she means.

I think we have to take him to the dogtor

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yetilock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If groups of kittens and puppies are called litters...

...is a failure to spay or neuter your pet considered littering?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zatchf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog mated with a bird the other month, so I have some puppies for sale

They are going cheap

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalsaSauce666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I named my legless puppy Cigarette

Because I take him for a drag rather than a walk

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomVerstappen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A dog gave birth to puppies this morning

The dog was given a fine for littering

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suck_My_Wab
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A dog gave birth to puppies on the sidewalk

She was ticketed for littering.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
An acceptable name for a puppy could be...

A Subwoofer

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasoCasoQueso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Just named my new girl puppy "Karma"

is a bitch

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s a puppy’s favorite type of bread? :)

Puppernickel! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/macaronielbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a puppy have in common with a near-sighted gynecologist?

The wet nose.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twitchy987
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids just got a new puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, and one in particular. I suggested they name him β€œNature.”

Because nature abhors a vacuum

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nsertnamehere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad named his puppies Rolex and Timex

He calls them his watch dogs

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/USAisAok
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What should you do if your puppy falls sick?

Send him to a dogtor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.