She is all about that Chase, bout that Chase, no Rubble
.....this joke is ruff :(
The pup - it's just a little otter.
My dad just sent me this (couldn't help but groan, even as a dad myself):
I had a fella in painting and decorating the house for the last three days, I got chatting to him and it turns out he is actually a Ryanair pilot on PUP (Pandemic Unemployment Payment - social welfare in Ireland for those affected by Covid), he is decorating now to try and pay his mortgage, sad times but in fairness he did a great job on the landing😬👍
This happened ever since I was a pup.
The doctor told me to sit down, but I’m not allowed in furniture.
So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the “American dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch
... keep reading on reddit ➡Pup and Furcumstance
On the night walk with our 2 pups. One is obsessed with toads and every item on the road is suspiciously inspected. Frequently a leaf is sniffed and nosed to encourage a leap. Tonight, a piece of gravel caught her eye with exuberant tailnub wagging! “Oh pupper that isn’t sedentary; it’s sedimentary.”
Hope you like it too.
Who could fly like the wind with a roar
A pup asked one day
‘Why are you this way’
He was a labracadabrador
A pup-percut!
I went home with her that night. Her knees looked completely normal, but the huge white dog was pretty amazing.
The Re-pup-lican party. They hate the Demo-cats!
My wife called me up from the animal shelter the other day wanting to adopt a dog. Since money is tight current, I specifically said "0 canine". Now I'm the proud owner of 9 German shepherd pups and will from now on pronounce "0" as "Zero".
My wife and I were laying in bed one night and heard our dog snoring.
My wife mentions that maybe our dog has doggie sleep apnea.
I replied, "Well maybe we should get her a C-Pup..."
Wife: "uggghhhh"
There is an impossible knot in my dog's leash. As I grabbed it to walk the dog I noticed it was no longer there.
Me: Wow you got the knot out! Her: Yup I had to use a screwdriver to loosen it.
I leash up my pup, walk out the door and close it. Suddenly it hits me and I scramble for my keys and I hold up the leash as I burst the door open with a big smile on my face.
Me: It was knot expected! A short pause as figures out what is going on. Her: GET OUT OF HERE!
I spent the whole dog walk giggling to myself.
...a piece of paper with a scribble on it and a lazy dog?
One is an ink lined plane and the other is a slow pup.
...Thanks dad.
