What do you call a pooch that lives in Alaska?

A chilly dog

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Joke by my wife

There we were, sitting by the hearth last night.

Man on the television set: "Vote blue, no matter who."

Mother: "Father, do you think he means our darling pooch"?

Blue: Snoring on the rug, fat and lavish

Me: "Mother, you are a sensational one. Outrageous!"

Mother: With her head tilted back, unleashes a hearty guffaw

I thought you might enjoy this roguish exchange as much as mother and I did πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trenlow12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How do dogs like their eggs cooked?

Pooched

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChefAtRandom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a dogs favorite breakfast?

Pooched eggs

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The day my dad's dog died.

I was sitting in my room playing with my dog, his name is Buster. My dog was being hyper while getting used to his new home.

My dad walks in and starts telling me about when he was my age and got a new dog.

( Insert sad music from the world's smallest violin here )

Dad: "When I was your age, my dad got me a pooch. His name was Rocket. I got him when he was around 4 years old, so he was pretty big. One day, I was working on my dad's truck and had a bucket of old gas sitting next to me. Rocket was outside playing around, being himself and came up to me. I slid back under the truck and heard some gulping sounds. I look over and see Rocket drinking big gulps of the gasoline. I screamed at him," Rocket No! You don't drink that!" Then he backed up, stumbling. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, I knew something was wrong with him. He took off running around the house. He ran around the house 2-3 times. Then he just fell over.."

Me: "Dead!?"

Dad: "Nah, he just ran out of gas."

Fuck off, Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kurtcobain94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.