I was walking down the street and ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I was recently banned from the Antiques Roadshow.
...I tried to have my family jewels appraised.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I have an antique globe that belonged to my great-great-grandfather.
It meant the world to him.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Driving past an antique store with my dad and he drops this gem...
βWhy do aunts get all the glory? What about uncle-tiques?β
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I love watching antiques roadshow
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.
Then I noticed it only measures comrads.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
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︎ Sep 13 2019
A man and his son are in an antique store...
...as they are browsing they come across a suit of armor. The son asks his Dad "How much does that cost?". To which his Dad replies "$2500".
His son looks shocked, "For a knight?!"
"No, son. You get to keep it forever".
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︎ Feb 23 2020
What do you call an antique shop full of people?
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︎ Feb 22 2020
I finally finished shooting my documentary about antique clocks.
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︎ Dec 10 2019
This jewelry and antique store
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︎ Sep 03 2019
It's true son, dinosaurs aren't allowed to drive antique cars.
They kept causing Model T wrecks.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
Iβm really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.
It really means the world to me.
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︎ Aug 23 2018
Shopping for antiques doesn't make you gay.
But it might make you buy curios.
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︎ Jul 09 2019
At first he never liked the chair. Then he found out it was an antique.
After this, he chair-ished it for life.
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︎ Feb 20 2019
How much does a beautiful antique lamp weigh?
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︎ Jun 24 2019
Wife and I are watching an antiques show, when a weathervane shows up on the screen....
The wife and I both to proceed how we like the look of it, and the wife mentions how she likes the lack of a rooster on top.
To which I reply "Of course dear, no one likes a cock swinging around in the breeze".
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︎ Mar 02 2019
Wife just asked "Do we have any antique wax?" "Don't you mean duck repellent?", I said. "Ha... ha... ha." she said.
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︎ Oct 09 2018
What does an antique say at a rave.
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︎ Mar 13 2019
My friend owns an antique shop. I asked him how business was recently.
He just said, "Oh you know. Same old, same old."
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︎ Jan 19 2019
I sold my antique lasso at auction for $1000...
Talk about money for old rope.
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︎ Nov 16 2018
I went to the antiques store today and asked if they had something new
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︎ Jul 18 2018
My dad just retired and has taken up tinkering around with antique clocks
He says they help pass the time.
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︎ Aug 26 2017
My dad loved antique clocks
He would talk about them for hours
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︎ Aug 29 2017
At an antique store today with my grandfather I picked up a cast-iron candelabra and commented on how heavy it was...
He turned to me, gave a knowing smile and said; 'Don't worry - it gets lighter when you put some candles in it.'
He's the best.
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︎ Oct 12 2013
I went to an antique shop the other day...
I was just looking for an old timer.
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︎ Aug 05 2017
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
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︎ Oct 02 2014
Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.
She denies it, but Iβm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.
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︎ May 08 2019
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Nov 10 2018
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Yesterday I accidentally ran into the man who sold me an antique globe...
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︎ Dec 12 2019
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
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︎ Oct 21 2019
This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Dec 07 2019
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
She says it's not true, but I'm sticking to my guns!
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︎ Nov 18 2019
I recently bumped into the man who sold me my antique globe...
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︎ Sep 20 2019
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection....
She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns
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︎ Sep 23 2019
I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
My wife refuses to confess that she poured glue on my antique weapons collection.
But Iβm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Aug 30 2018
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.
She denies it, but Iβm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
I recently bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Apr 03 2019
I ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Jan 06 2019
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