I was recently banned from the Antiques Roadshow.
...I tried to have my family jewels appraised.
I have an antique globe that belonged to my great-great-grandfather.
It meant the world to him.
Driving past an antique store with my dad and he drops this gem...
“Why do aunts get all the glory? What about uncle-tiques?”
🙄🙄🙄😑😑😑
Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.
Then I noticed it only measures comrads.
I love watching antiques roadshow
A man and his son are in an antique store...
...as they are browsing they come across a suit of armor. The son asks his Dad "How much does that cost?". To which his Dad replies "$2500".
His son looks shocked, "For a knight?!"
"No, son. You get to keep it forever".
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
What do you call an antique shop full of people?
I finally finished shooting my documentary about antique clocks.
This jewelry and antique store
It's true son, dinosaurs aren't allowed to drive antique cars.
They kept causing Model T wrecks.
Shopping for antiques doesn't make you gay.
But it might make you buy curios.
I’m really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.
It really means the world to me.
At first he never liked the chair. Then he found out it was an antique.
After this, he chair-ished it for life.
How much does a beautiful antique lamp weigh?
Wife and I are watching an antiques show, when a weathervane shows up on the screen....
The wife and I both to proceed how we like the look of it, and the wife mentions how she likes the lack of a rooster on top.
To which I reply "Of course dear, no one likes a cock swinging around in the breeze".
Wife just asked "Do we have any antique wax?" "Don't you mean duck repellent?", I said. "Ha... ha... ha." she said.
What does an antique say at a rave.
My friend owns an antique shop. I asked him how business was recently.
He just said, "Oh you know. Same old, same old."
I went to the antiques store today and asked if they had something new
My dad just retired and has taken up tinkering around with antique clocks
He says they help pass the time.
My dad loved antique clocks
He would talk about them for hours
At an antique store today with my grandfather I picked up a cast-iron candelabra and commented on how heavy it was...
He turned to me, gave a knowing smile and said; 'Don't worry - it gets lighter when you put some candles in it.'
He's the best.
I went to an antique shop the other day...
I was just looking for an old timer.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
Yesterday I accidentally ran into the man who sold me an antique globe...
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
She says it's not true, but I'm sticking to my guns!
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection....
She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns
I recently bumped into the man who sold me my antique globe...
I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.
My wife refuses to confess that she poured glue on my antique weapons collection.
But I’m sticking to my guns.
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
I recently bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
I ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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