I was recently banned from the Antiques Roadshow.

...I tried to have my family jewels appraised.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotwitty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I have an antique globe that belonged to my great-great-grandfather.

It meant the world to him.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Driving past an antique store with my dad and he drops this gem...

β€œWhy do aunts get all the glory? What about uncle-tiques?”

πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...

"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...

That was a royal pane in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.

Then I noticed it only measures comrads.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GentleMonsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I love watching antiques roadshow

It never gets old

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A man and his son are in an antique store...

...as they are browsing they come across a suit of armor. The son asks his Dad "How much does that cost?". To which his Dad replies "$2500". His son looks shocked, "For a knight?!" "No, son. You get to keep it forever".

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonmokoko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

I got shafted.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an antique shop full of people?

A retirement home

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andy_stanley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally finished shooting my documentary about antique clocks.

It’s about time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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This jewelry and antique store
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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It's true son, dinosaurs aren't allowed to drive antique cars.

They kept causing Model T wrecks.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Shopping for antiques doesn't make you gay.

But it might make you buy curios.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punaccomplished
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.

It really means the world to me.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
At first he never liked the chair. Then he found out it was an antique.

After this, he chair-ished it for life.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How much does a beautiful antique lamp weigh?

It's pretty light

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinotm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I are watching an antiques show, when a weathervane shows up on the screen....

The wife and I both to proceed how we like the look of it, and the wife mentions how she likes the lack of a rooster on top.

To which I reply "Of course dear, no one likes a cock swinging around in the breeze".

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spyrulfyre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife just asked "Do we have any antique wax?" "Don't you mean duck repellent?", I said. "Ha... ha... ha." she said.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartiniPlusOlive
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What does an antique say at a rave.

Drop the vase.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machi_koro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend owns an antique shop. I asked him how business was recently.

He just said, "Oh you know. Same old, same old."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiebelwobbles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the antiques store today and asked if they had something new

They didn't.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelson93
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad just retired and has taken up tinkering around with antique clocks

He says they help pass the time.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeltingDog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad loved antique clocks

He would talk about them for hours

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
At an antique store today with my grandfather I picked up a cast-iron candelabra and commented on how heavy it was...

He turned to me, gave a knowing smile and said; 'Don't worry - it gets lighter when you put some candles in it.'

He's the best.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeauYourHero
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
🚨︎ report
I went to an antique shop the other day...

I was just looking for an old timer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece

He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elemexe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I accidentally ran into the man who sold me an antique globe...

It's a small world

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManWithoutNoPlan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

She says it's not true, but I'm sticking to my guns!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmarsee530
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection....

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently bumped into the man who sold me my antique globe...

It's a small world!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife refuses to confess that she poured glue on my antique weapons collection.

But I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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