I'm so proud.
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
He just can't part with it.
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
You buy it from the cat-alogue
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
"I don't know, bud, what?"
Well done, kid.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
Me: do you want ranch or blue cheese? 3yr old: ranch is for horses
Little guy Caught me off guard lol
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
You go from hip-hopping, to hip popping.
which I think is poor for four.
I asked my daughter if she was hungry and she said "No, I'm Charlotte".
I'm so proud of her, but also I had been waiting to do the whole hi hungry, I'm dad bit to her when I thought she was old enough to get it. Now I feel like I've missed that window
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
Neither has he...
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick!
She said it was an uplifting experience
Apparently he was last seen applying a cream that made him 10 years younger
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
To get to the other slide
Because he couldn't see that well!
Lovely man, terrible antiques dealer...
So they can lower their amount of strokes
The 'Times' are rough
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes, with hot water, under his wife’s supervision.
An orange, because they don't rhyme.
What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!
I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.
It was a waist of time...
Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.
Me: good grief in full
5 year old: Hi Full, I'm Miriam!
Never been so proud of her in my life.