A list of puns related to "Old Car"
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
They both love to stall when you need to go somewhere.
I’m going to take it out a spin tomorrow
spoiler alert
When is a door also a good container? When it’s ajar.
They have a car-mitzvah.
It’s in mint condition.
She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
I told him:
“Once you’ve earned it buy your own Accord.”
My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasn’t safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasn’t a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.
The kids didn’t get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so I’m pretty sure it counts.
It’s a bit of a Saab story
Or worse, that it might not.
It is my favourite attire.
They stole the sticker and left the car.
It replied "no thanks, I've just retired."
Him - Why is it called "Black Widow, Baby"?
Me - Because Black Widows are notorious for killing their husbands.
Him - It should be called "Black Bear Pirate"
Me - Why?
Him - Because they say "You should've known better than to mess with me honey."
If there’s no spark, you’re not going anywhere
Shitty shitty bang bang
"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."
Him: What's Adele's favorite number?
Me: I don't know, 25?
Him: No, 0.7734
(he was playing with a calculator at the time)
"Don't do that, you'll hurt his peelings!"
Me: Hey dad what are those grid things on the side of the road for? Dad: Those are for blind people so they know they are driving off the road. Me: Oh, cool. (totally believed him) Dad: sighlently smirking the rest of the way
I saw it in the background on Stranger Things.
They could call it Flexus.
Me: What did they have at the farm?
Son: Pumpkins and gourds.
Me: Did you get to pick one out to take home?
Son: I got a gourd because it looked cool. /shows us multi colored, striped gourd
Me: Gourd for you!
Son: /slightly confused... Yes, I got this gourd.
Me: So... would you say you had a ... gourd time?
Wife: /groans
Son: Ya, I had a gourd time.
Wife: /groans again.
Wife: Really?!
Me: He gets these jokes now. He's all... gourd up now.
Wife: STOP!
Son: Oh, gourd!
Me: "Those old cars were pretty big, I wonder how they drove them around"
Dad: "Probably with the steering wheel"
Que my rolling eyes and his uncontrollable laughter
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