In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
A former female church member partnered with me in my start up.
She's nun of my business.
I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
Former VP made A movie called An Inconvenient Truth
But he should have started a band named the Al Gore Rhythm.
What do social media and dancing former vice presidents have in common?
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?
I needed a shirt ironed quicked so I asked a former girlfriend,
but she doesn't offer express service.
I am currently writing an introduction to a novel about a young man trying to find his former partner.
I guess it's an ex-position.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
A newly enlisted recruit was in basic training, being yelled at by a former barbecue chef.
He was their Grill Sergeant.
Apparently they are still searching for the spy plane that was shot down over the former Soviet Union in 1960.
They still haven’t found what they’re looking for.
I heard that a former vice president used to work on math while playing drums...
It is said that he had good AlGoreRhythm.
Gender reassignment surgeons should be called trans formers
My former friend said he liked Formula 1 but not NASCAR
I just can't be friends with someone who's raceist
Since the US is the only country that uses British Imperial Units, it’s ironically the only former British colony to still have British rulers.
Former US Vice President Al Gore is known for having invented the internet ...
Not many people know that he's also a pioneer in Artificial Intelligence and music. In fact, he's just published a new paper detailing a theory that combines his research in both fields.
He calls his theory the "Al-Gore-rhythm".
Why did the former doctor regret becoming a prosecutor?
His new job was trying his patients.
My friend believes in reincarnation and says in his former life, he was a calf slaughtered for the meat.
I was going to take around the former Yugoslavia
But now I'm Balkan at the idea.
My social media news feed keeps showing a former vice president dancing to a beat...
... It must be Facebook's Al Gore rhythms.
What do former NBA players do after they die?
My relationship with the former US Women's National Soccer Team goalkeeper is coming to an end
I'm starting to lose Hope. I haven't felt Solo for a long time
Which former NFL quarterback suffered from hemophilia?
My former wife highly recommended a movie that I should take the kids to see, but I didn’t think it was appropriate.
If you give a former lover two mints do you like...
LPT: If you ever go on a date and the person has the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on their wall...
Do former vegetarians have frequent deja vu?
They always say they’ve been herbivore.
The former NBA commissioner was persuaded to buy a family gym package that included unlimited personal training sessions...
After the trainer vowed she would leave no Stern untoned.
A former president threw a southern rock party.
Everyone was like ”Sweet home, Obama”
A former cartoonist was put to death today for robbing a video arcade.
He was drawn and quartered.
What do you call a former trophy wife?
After the stock market crash, the former millionaire was depressed
He was used to living the good life, and all the perks that go with it. His refined palette missed the fine dining, at five-star restaurants run by top chefs. Now reduced to eating macaroni and cheese with hotdogs, he looked down at his plate and contemplated suicide.
It was a wurst case scenario.
When the former Chelsea goalkeeper wasn't sure of the prize money he received, what did he do?
Cech checked his Czech cheque
How does your former significant other have food delivered?
A roofer never prefers the former.
He always prefers the ladder.
Why is a computer scientist similar to a person who enjoys the music of a former democratic presidential candidate who really liked the environment?
They both enjoy Al Gore rhythms
What Do You Call Former Members of Secret Societies?
Heard an on-the-spot dadjoke from my former band director today.
Some guy: "It's raining cats and dogs!"
Another guy: "Yeah, it might even rain a bear!"
Band director: "Then it'd be bearly raining!"
It was nice to hear a dadjoke in the wild like that.
My Dad is a former Biology teacher...
I was telling my family that my friend's dad, James, had recently gotten a vasectomy. Without missing a beat my dad exclaimed "If he were a plant he'd be a Jim-no-sperm!" and laughed uproariously while the rest of the family just shook their heads.
When I graduate from vet school, I want to care for the pets of former nazi soldiers.
Basically, I want to be a veteran aryan veterinarian.
What do you call a former Nazi?
what, Dad.
A veterinarian!
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