In my divorce settlement, my wife (now ex-wife) wanted only the boring things...
I stole my ex girlfriends wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
I told my ex-wife she should become a boat captain...
She's so good at dealing with loads of semen
What do you call an ex pimp who lives on the streets?
My ex and I went for a drink
Walked into a bar owned by romans and asked for drinks for my ex and I. They gave us eleven bottles.
It is so hot in my city that I decided to meet my ex
She gave me a cold shoulder.
What do you call your ex from Maryland?
My ex had gambling and anger issues...
When I broke up with her things got a little dicey.
My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.
She hates when I call her that.
I miss my ex...
But my aim is getting much better.
Video games are an ex-seal-lent way to "seal" some seally puns!
I didn't say my ex-wife died,
I said I have a latex wife.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
A friend told me that he keeps running into his ex girlfriends. I said..
Yeah, you gotta stop doing that with your car..
Bought a litre and a half of White-Out/Tipp-Ex
I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house
He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.
My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is starting to improve.
My ex wife still misses me....
But, her aim is getting better.
I accidentally butt dialed my ex last night.
I swear it’s the only booty call I’ve ever made.
My wife is okay with the fact that I still live with my ex-girlfriend.
She doesn't like me calling her that, however.
My ex wife has started dating an Italian bricklayer.
She said, "It's cement to be...."
I gave my ex wife my old vacuum
Jokes on her the thing really sucked
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Where should you go to find a date after you leave your ex?
My ex actually has 3 spirit animals:
I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but She figured out that I was only..
My ex made my life like a fairy tale.
My ex-wife still misses me...
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!!
(gravity falls, anyone?)
I always tell people, my ex-wife has my sense of humor
That witch took everything of mine
My ex left me because I was determined to buy van and sell spaghetti out of the back, she told me it wouldn’t work
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
My ex girlfriend just left me for a ghost named Kevin.
She's no longer my ghoul friend.
(this actually happened, i just wanted to make the situation lighter)
Why couldn't the crocodile get over his ex wife?
He was stuck in de Nile :(
Trans X Men, call it "Ex-Men"
I recently broke up with my ex. She hated how bad at directions I am.
So one day, I just packed up my bags and right.
My wife is mad that I keep introducing her as “my ex-girlfriend”
My ex didn't appreciate my sense of humour
She wanted me to quit making so many jokes. She thought it would de-pun our relationship
My ex's motto: "If it ain't broke..."
My ex hated language, so I had to dump her.
I couldn't be with someone who was anti-semantic.
My ex wife still misses me.
But her aim is getting better!
My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better
My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better!
My ex wife still misses me
but her aim is getting better
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