Old Lady Puns

A list of puns related to "Old Lady"

Today at the bank some old lady asked if I could help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/trendfoll
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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Three old ladies were having a picnic when the following conversation took place.

First lady: Isn’t it a bit windy? Second lady: I thought it was Thursday. Third lady: Me too, let’s have a cup of tea.

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👤︎ u/Dusk118
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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I watched an old lady in a head wrap get mugged for her purse before she quickly stabbed the man and took it back.

It was a shawl shank redemption

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👤︎ u/De_Salvation
📅︎ Nov 22 2020
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You know why the old lady fell down the well ?

She couldn’t see that well.

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👤︎ u/Messicanhero
📅︎ Sep 19 2020
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Mississippians don't refer to their wives as their old lady

They refer to them as their Ole Miss

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👤︎ u/zsm1994
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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How do you make 3 old ladies all yell profanities at the same time ?

Have a fourth one yell "BINGO"

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Aug 28 2020
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The old lady who lives next door keeps talking about a small deep-ground reservoir...

I think she means well.

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👤︎ u/TMCBarnes
📅︎ Sep 08 2020
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Two old ladies on a train.

"Where are we? Wembley?"
"No, it's Thursday."
"So am I, likes go for a drink."

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👤︎ u/HMSAgincourt
📅︎ May 31 2020
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Old ladies

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in, “Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one responded, ” Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them “That must be the door, I’ll get it!” Reply

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👤︎ u/hayeshilton
📅︎ May 13 2020
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A little old lady at the ATM asked me to help check her balance.

All it took was one good shove to tell it was terrible.

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👤︎ u/MookieV
📅︎ Apr 14 2020
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What do you call an old lady in a tight spot?

Cram-ma

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👤︎ u/carnival_k
📅︎ May 11 2020
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I knocked an old lady over whilst on my bike yesterday

"You need to learn to use the bell," she said, "I know how to use the bell," I replied..."I just cant ride a bike."

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👤︎ u/AFC-Wilson
📅︎ Feb 07 2020
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A flasher sees three old ladies on a park bench. He walks up and exposes himself. The first one had a stroke. The second one had a stroke.

The third one couldn’t, her arms were too short.

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👤︎ u/tupacwolverine
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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I was walking my dog this morning when I saw a rock help an old lady cross the street

What a gneiss guy

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👤︎ u/skelly46
📅︎ Jun 15 2019
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What do you call an old white lady

Gram cracker

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👤︎ u/DaddyBigNips25
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
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Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who?

Oh, I didn't know you could yodel.

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👤︎ u/EternalMotivation
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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The old lady said she wanted to travel.

I gave her a basketball and told her to take 3 steps.

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👤︎ u/BassWizard420
📅︎ Mar 23 2019
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Knock Knock. Who’s there? Old Lady.

Old lady who? I didn’t know you yodelled. (Say out loud for full dad joke intensity)

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👤︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
📅︎ Jun 05 2018
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What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?

Depends...

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👤︎ u/Letibleu
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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How long did the old lady say she'd been living with dementia?

She couldn't remember.

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👤︎ u/benkrauss313
📅︎ Oct 23 2018
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Sweet old lady walks into Perkins with a home made sweater.

The sweater was made with alpaca wool and had a pattern with alpacas wrapping around her chest. It had a beautifully intricate diamond pattern of various colors and you could tell it was finely crafted.

Mom: wow, what a beautiful sweater is that made from alpaca wool?

Old lady: Yes, we have a small herd of them.

Dad: YOU HAVE A HERD OF SWEATERS?!

Old lady stares blankly into my fathers eyes not quite understanding as I’m dying.

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👤︎ u/servuslucis
📅︎ Mar 17 2018
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An old lady asked me if I could help her check her balance at the bank.

so I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/weendul
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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An old lady walked into the bank and asked me if I could help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/Randomguy6282
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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One day in the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance...

So I pushed her.

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👤︎ u/levonsafaryan
📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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An old lady in bank asked me if I can check her balance

so I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/superputindoge
📅︎ Aug 19 2019
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Today at the bank an old lady asked me to help her check her balance

So i pushed her over

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👤︎ u/NoNamesLeftPL
📅︎ Dec 03 2019
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I was at the bank the other day and this old lady told me to check her balance...

So I pushed her.

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👤︎ u/Organic_Bleach_
📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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👤︎ u/Bobobu2004
📅︎ Aug 07 2019
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I was at an ATM and an old lady asked if I could help check her balance..

So I pushed her over

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👤︎ u/Imakehamforalivin
📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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I lost my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
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👤︎ u/Alex_Hurt
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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I was asked why I pushed over an old lady at the bank today

I mean, she told me to check her balance

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👤︎ u/brandschain
📅︎ Apr 29 2019
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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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👤︎ u/smith_gt3
📅︎ Oct 28 2019
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Today, at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/thegreatsorcerer
📅︎ Aug 28 2019
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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/ENJOYblet
📅︎ Dec 27 2018
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Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She couldn’t see that well

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👤︎ u/Stalins_Uncle
📅︎ Feb 17 2019
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Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She couldn’t see that well

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👤︎ u/that-_one-_guy
📅︎ Aug 11 2018
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I was using the ATM when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance

So I pushed her over

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👤︎ u/CCplusplus
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me too check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/Benjamingur9
📅︎ May 14 2019
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An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance...

So I pushed her.

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👤︎ u/KingInTheNorth57
📅︎ Apr 16 2018
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Today at the bank, and old lady asked me to help her check her balance....

So I pushed her over...

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👤︎ u/theorangesheep1234
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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Why did the old lady walk into the well?

Because she didn’t see that well!!!

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👤︎ u/privacykee
📅︎ Feb 26 2019
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An old lady at the bank asked me to me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/PotatoeAndGravy
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn’t see that well

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👤︎ u/that-_one-_guy
📅︎ Mar 14 2018
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