These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns....

...... Tam-puns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggyg2223
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister

Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol

πŸ‘︎ 646
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gattica97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
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My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess.... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 360
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
How many f***s does a catholic sister give?

Nun.

[Inspired by Netflix - Warrior Nun]

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nLych
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?

β€œAre you having a crisis ?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
My 7 yr old sister did a huge fart and I told her to say excuse me and she follows with this:

Ex-POO-se me! 🀦

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papadom94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight

She's my aunt

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
My sister said she doesn't like tall guys

I said she was in-tall-erant

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MerkNZorg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
Penn’s mom had three sisters who owned a pie shop...

Their menu was titled β€œThe Pie Rates of Penn’s Aunts”.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crying sister?

A crisis

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?

Oh my toe sis!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
I told my sister that she was β€œliterally kidding”

when she went into labor. (She was not impressed.)

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IacobusBarbatus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
A brother and sister were working with each other on a science project.

While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing

5 minutes pass

B: Ow S: You alright B: Yeah, just bumped into the table S: Where does it hurt B: Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EMPIREVSREBLES
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.

I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters

She's the new Miss Stake.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WideEyedWand3rer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who's a personal trainer?

Yeah, her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsolinkable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??

Because he was Far-from-nougat!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
My sister may be a single mother but she had an amazing dad joke..

She was giving my niece (3) and nephew (6) a bath. When they were done, the kids used their towels as capes and were running around naked yelling 'we are super heroes!!' My sister responded with, 'I don't think think there are any naked superheroes... Except maybe The Flash.'

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes???

It doesn’t make any scents

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TACKYTUESDAY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
My little sister pirated me
πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/super-effingnova
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer?

Her name is Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/powderbubba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
Do you know the name of Cardi B's sister? She is working as a trainer.

Her name is Cardi-O.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterSirF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
My sister is a really good defensive driver

Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savannah_P_Frost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
My dad gave a speech at my big sisters wedding.

He had my sister put a hand in, her husband put his hand on top of hers, then she put her other hand over his, then his other hand over hers. Then he told her husband β€œThis is the last time you’ll ever have the upper hand”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
Saw this on a tiktok about a lesbian couple that look like sisters - Dopplebangers
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jessabel436
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
My sister was moving her TV into her house, and i said,

”Careful, that tv is SHARP!” since it was a sharp branded TV

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
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My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"

She said "I'm having a light snack."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil-Sleepy-A1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
My baby sister just threw a toy horse at me

I told her to hold her horses

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SonOfDeath73351
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
My sister says she’s gone vegan but I don’t believe her.

I’ve always thought she’s full of balogna.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-real-jerk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...

It really upped the aunty!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
My little 2 year old sister is in the hospital... she had a peek a boo accident

Now she’s in the ICU

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldstarguy69
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
My sister and I were making a pie for the 4th of July

After making it, we opened the fridge to cool it. After being unable to find space for it, I suggested we move the steaks that my mom is saving for dinner. As we put them on a higher shelf, I looked at her and said β€œThe steaks have been raised”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miki-Corkrei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
Your mom and I are going to make you a little sister!

We’re just kidding

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
My sister made this for her midwife πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubbashley7
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
My sister doesn’t appreciate my pun.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totatopomatoes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Luke had a sister and a trainer toooo...

Leia, Yoda, Leia, Yoda, Leia HEE HOOOOO

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
How many sisters does it take to feed an Italian family?

None, that’s the pasta’s job.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
My mum's sister does drugs.

She's my Aunt Acid.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
My Sister: (annoyed) Hey!

My Dad: That’s what horses eat :)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"

Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Soter_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom's sisters are free from covid19

Thwy got great auntie bodies

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
My sister: Wow dad, you smell good

Dad: I know, it’s because I use both of my nostrils

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsAdani
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What happens when you hit your sister?

A crysis.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poe3inmotion
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
My Mom’s sister came down with Coronavirus so I bought her a new computer.

The warranty claimed it had free β€œaunty-virus” protection software.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Money-Sloth
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Why did my daughter think my two sisters would protect her from coronavirus?

Because now she had aunty bodies around her.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
My sister-in-law's grandfather used to tell stories of how he used to drill holes in stuff for a living...

How boring!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Before I did my musical audition my sister said break a leg

I asked her why

She said that she wanted me put in a cast

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApplePie606
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
My sister bet me a thousand dollars that I could not build a car out of noodles.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psych-Demon
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
I met two amphibious sisters last weekend...

Sal Amanda

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My sister just lost her tongue in a bad accident.

I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
All of my mom's sisters are incredibly healthy

thanks to all of their auntie-bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
I recently talked about a John Cena joke with my sister, but she didn't seem to understand the joke, so I started to explain to her who John Cena is. She then asked me whether or not I seriously think that she doesn't know who John Cena is. I then told her:

"Well, I just thought you might have never seen him before."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Why is the head sister usually known as a jack-of-all-trades?

Because she's a master of nun.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
My sister and I often laugh about how competitive we are

I laugh more

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
My father made my sister smell with some spices...

Pap-reek-her

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
My Sister Bet Me $15 I Couldn't Build a Car Out Of Spaghetti

You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackKeogh01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I stole my sister's vegetables

I was just trying to stop her from getting herpes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spalmon314
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
My sister always gets mad whenever I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

I’m sorry but that’s how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darraghq16
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
[oc] my sister being unintentionally punny
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chubb_Life
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Son: Why is my sister named Julianna? Dad: We couldn't decide between Julie and Anna

Son: Thanks dad

Dad: No problem Tedward

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I miss my sister

But my aim is getting better

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liquid_link56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I was telling a friend about the time a cannibal took my sister to see a Russel Crowe movie...

He asked, "Gladiator?"

I replied, "No, I really miss her..."

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.

She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
My sister just said β€œI’m bored.”

My dad said,

β€œHi bored I’m nail!”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDS327
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was hanging out with my sister the other day and she showed me a meme. I had not idea what it meant so I asked her

β€œwhat does it meme?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-bonas-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
A guy just told me that my wife and my daughter look like sisters.

I told him, β€œWell, they were separated at birth.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife’s sister came to visit us recently

It was my wife’s 50th birthday so I took everyone to McDonalds. My wife said I’m officially the cheapest man alive but I’m not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaynesky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
My mom's sisters said they are immune to all viruses.

They said it's because of their aunt-ey bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
A pun my sister edited in snapchat and then sent to me: A Good Data Die Hard
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAlkyunit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Why did my sister wear a jacket before the game?

She was just warming up.

My dad made this joke, and i loved it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGalaxyMemist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
I did this to my sister, felt like it belonged here
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imahoteg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

πŸ‘︎ 388
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not a dad, but I pulled this on my sister and achieved a groan. So here it is!

*Me entering my sister's room and see her studying.

Me: "What's up? Wanna play Halo?"

Sis: "I want to but I can't. My exams are coming."

Me: "Then don't open the door!"

Sis: *groans

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chanzy94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
My sister talking about Christmas: β€œI don’t worry about Christmas, I got it all under wraps”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xanup22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife's sister and her family came to visit but I was hiding in the den. She came in and told me not to be antisocial.

I reminded her that I'm a guy.

That would make me uncle social.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiooiooi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Did you know Darth Vader has a sister?

Her name is Ella.

(Courtesy of my 7 year old daughter - so proud!)

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadnoughtPoo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the biologist say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Autistic_Spoon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I suspected my sister's butter had developed intelligence after she took it to school in her lunch box.

Sure enough, it was on her roll.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
When your sister steps on your toe
πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riceondrugs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found out Darth Vader has a sister.

Ella, Ella Vader.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister hit me with quite the insult at her PhD ceremony.

It was a 2nd-degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
My sister cross stitched this for me for Christmas.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/technologik14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw this on my sisters group chat
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boidoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crying sister?

A Crisis

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
My sister just lost her tongue in a bad accident.

I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
My sister bet me $15 that i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avianthon
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying

Are you having a crisis?

πŸ‘︎ 344
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewwap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

πŸ‘︎ 382
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

"Are you having a crisis?"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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What do you call a crying sister

A crisis

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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