These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns....

...... Tam-puns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggyg2223
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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This dad joke's more of a mom pun. She wasn't impressed, regardless.

http://i.imgur.com/6b53dgn.png?2

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TPWALW
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Mom told me to take out the spider
πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilliCherry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I was wearing mismatched socks and my mom said to me

I bet you have another pair exactly like that.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbinternetstuff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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My mom cried while cutting onions

Onions was such a good dog

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerJoe85
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I asked my mom and dad what they were doing downstairs, they said they were wrapping

So I said they'll have to preform for me sometime

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SenarioStudent
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Ok, this is a mom joke...

My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."

A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"

It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.

proof

... Smartass, lol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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"Mom, does Uranus have rings?"

Just his wedding band.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway

....that's where most accidents happen

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Let’s order takeaway because mom cannot finish making dinner by 7pm tonight.

She ran out of thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoSHEEE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire...

It was a hot mess

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My mom said this unknowingly but it still counts

So I was complaining about where I am in life and the path I have chosen she said

"Don't try to blame someone else for the road your on ....its your own asphalt"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oilspilpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Mom said she'd throw her son from a cliff if he didn't eat his vegetables ...

... but it was a bluff!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwooopingIsBad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...

Why did she always want me to check the time?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethereal_luv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Dolphin son: Dad, how did you and mom know that you guys are meant to be together?

Dolphin Dad: When we first met,.....we just clicked.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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A German Family consisting of a Mom, Dad, 8-year-old son, and 6-year-old daughter walk into a bar.

The Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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My mom sent me this pic of her cat and I couldn’t help myself :D reddit.com/gallery/jq431y
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meme-the-kid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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If Dad takes too much aspirin, what should mom do?

Give him a headache.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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MOM: "How do I look?”

DAD: "With your eyes."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Son: mom, dad, I’m gay

Me: clenches fist

Wife: don’t you dare

Me: face turns red

Wife: ........

Me: hi Gay, I’m dad.

πŸ‘︎ 842
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Why can't moms make dad jokes?

Because otherwise, the jokes would be mummified.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/348569591
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What was Jesus’ mom’s last name?

Christmas

Mary Christmas everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuxerKiller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My son was crying because his mom took his Xbox...

... so I had to console him.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe-manzon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What do you call an invisible mom who was assigned male at birth?

Transparent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreativeBake7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I asked your mom about her least favourite sausage

She said the wurst one

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ledgarp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I learned something very shocking today about my mom and dad

They are both palindromes 😱

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Jewish mom: Help! Is there a doctor here?!

Doctor: yes

Mom: are you single?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roee30
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have my moms sense of humor...

My dad still has his.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.

Because there were so many mummies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunarmeric
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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My dad came out as trans so we accepted him as a man, my mom came out as trans so we accepted her as a woman.

It was honestly a surprise but at least they were both Trans-Parent about it.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elemental55555
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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My mom says my dad was of Persian origin.

Ee-ran away when I was a child.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom: I'm thinking of making pasta or taco for dinner. What are you thoughts?

Dad: Those are the little voices that say things inside my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My mom actually made this up not my dad

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: who’s there Person 1: cash Person 2: cash who Person 1: Actually I prefer almonds

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bathtubgamer2017
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom said split the chores, well. . .

"I am Iron Man"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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My friend said he wanted to bang his mom and kill his dad.

I told him that was some freudulent thinking.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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A friends Dad said her Mom isn't doing well...

Her said called her and said Mom isn't doing well. She got all worried and started getting emotional so she called her Grandmother to ask what was going on. She found out that Doctors are telling her one of her ovaries seems missing and they don't know where it is. She seemed relieved to find this out as it wasn't as serious as her dad made it out to be but was still concerned.

I told her that her dad had an ovaryaction.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qik1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to my friend and he asked me, β€œAs a young boy was your mom strict with you?” I told him, β€œTo be honest,...

β€œ...my mother was never a young boy.”

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.

Dad: But can you table salt?

Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.

Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/likeabutterdream
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom bought me a cheap dictionary for my birthday.

I couldn't find the words to thank her.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Mom, why is my name Denephew?
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-wulv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Mom, now you're putting words into my mouth
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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My mom told me not to watch anything on the tv

So I watched next to the tv

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobanab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a piglet call his mom’s brother?

Oinkle

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsquack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
They say opposites attract; so if your mum/mom serious, then your...

Dad jokes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I never really knew my dad. Mom said he would be out at the bank all night.

She said he was a real loaner.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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