My best in the moment pun i have ever had

In the gym today, guy is having to get his lock cut off because he lost his key. Joke around with guy for a bit because i have done the same.

As he is walking away....

Him: "you have a good day man"

Me: "you too, better lock next time"

I hear him groan, look to the guy next to me with a dumbass smile on my face and he rolled his eyes. Hahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwankyTiger_0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Spur of the moment pun

My wife got something in her eye and grabbed the first towel she could find which happened to be my shower towel. She says

"Great I'm probably rubbing my eyes right where you had your balls"

Me: "yup, now you have eye balls"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JezyJezyJezy
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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been a moment since i used the tea-rex meme template
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nothrishaant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.

He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said β€œKit-Kats are good but these are butter.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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One of my most proud moments was coming up with this
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jiyori
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Proud dad moment - Dad what type of sandpaper does the dog use?

Woof ones

5 year old daughters joke, so proud :)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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My wife spilled tea on herself, and without a moments hesitation, turned to me and said...

β€œI’ve tea’d myself!”

Proud hubby here!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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BL3 with Tomato Jokes? | Falls, Fails & Funny Moments | Psycho Krieg & the Fantastic Fustercluck DLC youtu.be/Je2l0OxQl8E
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super_Sar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What did Jesus the Interior Decorator say in his final moments?

It is furnished.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faberj92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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A moment like this just once please.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorldWhunder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..

..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Took me a moment to understand
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kris122Angel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Proud dad moment. Joke from my soon to be 6 year old daughter. β€œHow did the bee get to school?”

β€œOn the buzzzzz.” So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 520
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardcoredad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Proud Moment

My 6 year old son just told his sister "You butter move out of the way" while helping his mother in the kitchen. He was so proud of his joke he ran across the house to tell me.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantum_Mario
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Proud dad moment

Today I held up three colored balls in my hand. One red, one green, and one blue. My 1yr old son (after much debate) chose the red one. I’ve never been so proud. He has earned the right to play with my old game boy now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Engineer_7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Please take a moment
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydluv21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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My server slammed a glass of water down, tossed a spoon with a knife on the table and stomped off back to the kitchen. I pondered about their attitude for a moment and then it hit me...

They just didn't give a fork...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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The moment i was born

I had an out of body experience

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApolloSky110
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Figured this was the ideal moment to repost this ol’ pun. Happy Father’s Day.
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renoraid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.

It was unreal.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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My boss shared this in my work chat today, it took me a moment...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/errorFohOhFoh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I accidentally poked myself in the eye moments ago.

I did not see that one coming.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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My life has been full of priceless moments.

I'm a shoplifter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I think I had my first dad joke moment

I was driving my daughter (10F) to her dance class. Although we have taken this route countless times before and she never said a word about it before, she did this time and said as she was looking out the window while driving by a particular area, "Why would anyone build a daycare next to a cemetery?"

Without thought, I said "I don't know, but I bet their neighbors are quiet"

There was a second or two pause and then she said "Daaaaaaad."

My chest puffed up with pride for several miles as I thought I had just crossed the line into Dad Jokedom!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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There are many wonderful moments and beautiful sights when raising a child.

But the sight of your daughter stealing the last piece of chicken is truly breast taking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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The moment I realise I lost my voice __________

I was speechless.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyb3rbot2003
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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You know that moment when you let a fart out but accidentally released a log?

Yeah my dad calls that from bubble to trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOTB03
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...

"Oh, it's the peanuts.

They're complimentary."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elawn
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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That moment when your wife goes mateing the neighborhood guy
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c_lassi_k
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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His family is broken at the moment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roman_Briggs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Daughter is having trouble homeschooling at the moment. "Argh i can't spell today..."

T-o-d-a-y

Boom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adz1179
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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A moment of silence for our dear friend, liquid water, who did not survive the 100Β° temperature...

You will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/--Giraffe--
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Certified bruh moment
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/igotbannedplshelp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Just saw this at the moment.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RPGamer954
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."

I saw a yet-i.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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The hot topic in Paris at the moment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebzinho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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bruh moment
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imagoodperson1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Proud dad moment: After 5 months, I finally finished the jigsaw puzzle I was working on!

The box said 2-4 years.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahChristopher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke ,

and don't get a reaction

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeossin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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