In the climax of a duck movie you suddenly hear cluck-cluck-cluck

Plot chickens

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👤︎ u/math-pro
📅︎ May 30 2020
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if two people climax together...

would it be called an andgasm?

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📅︎ Oct 23 2018
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If a story's climax happened over a river,

Would it be on a suspension bridge?

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📅︎ Mar 29 2019
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When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies

Gives a new meaning to "busting a nut"

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📅︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call it when a pirate climaxes

an Arrgasm.

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📅︎ Aug 06 2019
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My uncle always talks about his disappointing sex life...

It always end in an Auntie climax.

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👤︎ u/Poastash
📅︎ Feb 21 2021
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I have a joke about incest...

But the punchline is a bit of an aunty-climax

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📅︎ Nov 04 2019
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I put a handful of ants down my pants the other day

It was a bit of an anti-climax

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👤︎ u/4wwn4h
📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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Every time we came home from a long trip.

I live in a town called pinckney (pronounced pink knee) and every time we would come home after a long drive he would say "hey we're in red elbow! Just kidding we're in pinckney! Simultaneous eye roll from everyone else in the car.

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📅︎ Aug 02 2013
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FWD: Fwd: FWD FWD: Fwd: Emails from Dad

MAN LAWS

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ May 30 2014
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dadjoked by a student...

I got dad-joked by a 12 year old today talking about plot elements: Me: so, the climax of Frozen is when Princess Elsa realizes she's trapped in fear in her ice castle and--- Kid: yeah miss lissy666! That must've been soooo isolating!

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👤︎ u/Lissy666
📅︎ Oct 02 2014
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