I never finish anything
I have a blackbelt in partial arts
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C.
Why did Alexander Hamilton finish last in the decathlon?
He wouldn’t throw away his shot.
Let’s order takeaway because mom cannot finish making dinner by 7pm tonight.
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
I decided to read my dictionary in bed last night, but I didn't finish it.
Why princess ariel didn't finish high school?
Because her grades were always under the C.
What do rappers say when they finish recording?
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his cake?
When you finish eating at an Australian Restaurant
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Froot Loops
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
I'm currently creating a sculpture of a maths equation but I'm really struggling to finish.
I just can't figure it out.
Can't even what..? Finish the sentence...!!
Two chiropractors are hurrying to finish lunch.
They had to get backs to work.
When you finish eating at an Australian restaurant
My wife told me I never finish my sentences...
...so I said that it's none of her
Finish college and forever a loan.
Imma let you finish this one
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
I'm a pile up.
I'm frustrated with not being able to finish all of my cereal
I think I have irritable bowl syndrome
I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
When you're in Australia and you finish eating at a restaurant....
Did you hear about the guy who doesn’t finish sentences?
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
My boss said I could finish work at half twelve today.
So I left at 6 and I've just been fired, there's no winning with that guy.
My twin brother called me from prison. He said “so you know how we always finish each other’s sentences”
My 2020 New Year's resolution is to finish my 2019 resolution. My goal was to lose 10 lbs.
(At parole hearing) Officer: Why should you be released early? Man: I'm... Officer: Go on. Man: I think... Officer: Yes? Man: Can I please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
Why didn't the bear finish his steak?
My father and I were setting up camp. As we were setting up, he said he had to take a dump and that while he does that, I need to finish tying up the tent. I asked “really?”. To which he replied:
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Stopped for some noodles and needed to finish some work. Was no disappointed.
Why do square dances never seem to finish?
Because they are not well rounded
I was so bored this weekend that I started reading the dictionary from start to finish.
Why couldn't the pirate finish the alphabet?
Because he spent too long at sea!
Why couldnt the chef finish cooking the meal?
Because he was out of thyme.
I only have a few hours to finish weaving this blanket.
How do you finish a magic trick involving scamp?
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they get lost at "c"
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they got lost at C!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?
Why didn't the teddy bear finish his dinner ?
I am teaching my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
They always get stuck at C!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
