The hardest part for someone when coming out
Saying it with a straight face
Coming soon to a theater near you
Eye did not see that coming
I'm scared of coming out as bi
It might end up being a pain in the ass.
Remake of Alien coming to cinemas near you!
When I get home my wife's underwear is coming straight off...
They're cutting right into my hips.
A guy named Vladislav kept coming after me, and all I could say was…
Vladislav,
baby don't hurt me,
don't hurt me,
no more.
I did knot see that one coming!
Bet choo didn't see that coming
Brace yourselves; Christmas puns are coming
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. I’m pretty bummed.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
Just my Dad coming out with Dad things...
So my brother is telling us about his girlfriends family, saying her dad is fussy with food and he doesn't eat a lot, probably because he smokes.
Dad "Does he eat his cigs?"
Then proceeds to laugh at his own joke saying that was a beauty that was.
After coming back from Switzerland
I feel kinda stupid and kinda proud for coming up with this (drawing on a phone is hard)
There's a new film about oxygen that's coming out soon, but there's no date.
I wonder when it will air.
One of my most proud moments was coming up with this
As this year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking about all the things I would have done differently.
Seems like I got 20/20 hindsight.
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they’re working on a self driving boat as well.
They’re going to call it the iAye
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
I didn't SEE that coming..
I was stood in a field the other day wondering why the frisbee coming towards me was getting bigger
When everything is coming your way...
....you're in the wrong lane.
My 11 year old and I were coming out of a store and someone just parked right next to our car.
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?
I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.
Proud of my son coming up with this joke.. Doctor: don’t eat too many apples...
Otherwise you will turn into an Iron man
The ad said the Hulk is coming to town.
I read it on the Bruce Banner.
Could we have seen this coming?
Coming soon to a theater near you
I bet you won’t see this one coming...
Playboy are coming out with a new magazine, especially for married men.
Every month it's exactly the same woman.
I was wondering why Music was coming from my printer..
Apparently the paper was Jamming.
Local TV weatherman breaks all of his limbs but insists on coming in to work...
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
My Aunt Penny keeps coming back to life after her cremation
I guess it’s true... a penny urned is a penny saved.
After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, “now my package isn’t coming for another 5 days!”
I replied, now you know how I feel.
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)
Coming first isn't always good.
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet
Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.
Need help coming up with a good Halloween pun...
Group of peeps I hang out with are making good Halloween puns involving their user. I need one that can make use of either Vince, Vincevaleker, e11, or Valeker. Any ideas?
I did nazi that one coming
Why did the ear itchiness keep coming back after being scratched?
I bet none of you will see this one coming
Nobody will see this one coming
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