I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...
Always trying to get the symphony vote.
So with the new iPhone 13’s coming out this year they decided to change the charger name
It’s now called Apple Juice
I put on 30 jackets all on top of each other. Someone called and asked if I was coming out, I said sorry I can’t...
I can hear music coming out of my printer...
I think the paper's jamming.
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
The hardest part for someone when coming out
Saying it with a straight face
My 11 year old and I were coming out of a store and someone just parked right next to our car.
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
There's a new film about oxygen that's coming out soon, but there's no date.
I wonder when it will air.
Just my Dad coming out with Dad things...
So my brother is telling us about his girlfriends family, saying her dad is fussy with food and he doesn't eat a lot, probably because he smokes.
Dad "Does he eat his cigs?"
Then proceeds to laugh at his own joke saying that was a beauty that was.
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet
Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.
"Why is there music coming out of your printer ?"
"That be the paper jammin' again"
The Star Wars series is coming out with a female villain
She'll be able to use the force to raise and lower things.
Her name will be Ella Vader
Bill and Ted have a new cookbook coming out
It’s called Wyld Scallions
My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
My friend kept saying Music coming out of my Laptop always sound beautiful
I said of course, it's aDell
Sun is coming out
My wife gets pretty hot when sleeping, today she was extra hot and said "I feel like sun is going to come out of me".
I seized the moment. I said, "But he already did, he is sleeping in the next room".
We both laughed.
" Hey, did you know the Black Panther 2 is coming out soon" said my friend..
"Wakanda movies is it?" i asked
I've hopefully got a book coming out soon
I shouldn't have eaten it really
If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out, what are you in the bathroom?
There’s a new film coming out about the incorrect use of tow bars on cars..
The trailer just dropped.
Did you see that Fast and Furious movie coming out?
It will be the fuel-good movie of the year.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
Teenage daughter asked "When is that new Elton John movie coming out?"
I replied "I think it's gonna be a long, long time"
I drew £30 out of the ATM earlier. A couple of minutes later I heard the sound of 'Nessun Dorma' coming from my wallet.
"Must be those three tenners" I thought to myself
Did you hear there is a book coming out about how to overcome procrastination?
The author started writing it 50 years ago.
So I hear they're coming out with another sequel to Undertale, but this time, the final boss is an extinct giant shark.
His boss battle theme will be called Megalodonia.
I’m really excited about the new movie about tractors that is coming out soon.
Lamborghini is coming out with their own clothing line
The first thing they're making are lambor-kinis
If there's nothing coming out of a Scentsy then its either out of order or out of odor.
Nathan Fillion is coming out with a new cook books based on recipes his character from Firefly would cook...
It’s called Mal-Nutrition
What did the man put in his eye to stop tears coming out?
Ice Cube and Ice T have a new album coming out…
I hear it’s “one cold drink”
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of the front of his pants....
The bartender says, “what’s up with that?” The pirate says, “Arrrrrr it’s driving me nuts!”
A new cereal is coming out for the lovers of fermented beverages.
Exciting information....a brand new calendar is coming out next year!
coming out
Son: "I play fortnite"
Dad: "hi gay, i'm dad"
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the papers jammin’ again!
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the papers jammin' again
Help, music is coming out of the printer
I think it’s jamming again
If your Russian going into the bathroom and Finnish coming out of the bathroom what are you in the bathroom?
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