Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?

My deaf friend: heard immunity

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👤︎ u/Josentangles
📅︎ Nov 13 2020
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Well she's not here today so I can risk it!
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👤︎ u/orlanthi
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do you call the risk of tipping $50 instead of $5?

Tipping hazard.

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👤︎ u/MrDebolisher
📅︎ Jul 21 2020
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She took a risk and bought a whisk. Someone shared this in a Weird Secondhand Finds group on fb.
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📅︎ Sep 08 2019
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I was convicted of feloniously inept dancing, and the probation officer said I was a high risk for recidivism.

But then I did the hokey-pokey, and I turned myself around.

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👤︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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WHO says the global risk of Coronavirus is 'moderate'

The World Health Organization

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👤︎ u/hbacorn
📅︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why are soccer stadiums at risk for burning down?

Because of all the matches.

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Dec 09 2019
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My dad found out that I am at risk of failing biology

He told me, “If you fail at biology, you fail at life.”

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👤︎ u/yeezuhzz
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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Why do skeletons never take any risks?

Because they have no guts.

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👤︎ u/fgeo97
📅︎ Oct 11 2018
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If you are ever at risk of hypothermia, DO NOT count anything in small quantities...

or else you'll get a little number.

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👤︎ u/Fortbuild
📅︎ Nov 10 2016
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What do you call a vegetarian that takes risks?

Vegedarian

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👤︎ u/neudeu
📅︎ Jan 31 2019
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I want to take a master's degree in risk management.

Call me the Master of Disaster.

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📅︎ Feb 20 2019
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open at your own risk. imgur.com/bnQNDsl
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👤︎ u/v_cleaner
📅︎ Jan 14 2016
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When furniture shopping, I insisted that we buy a couch and lounge chair separately. We can’t risk getting...

sectionally transmitted diseases!

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👤︎ u/mistermajik2000
📅︎ Apr 21 2018
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What cancer are anarchists at decreased risk for?

prostate

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👤︎ u/jimmpony
📅︎ Oct 13 2015
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Gf: I learned a lot about insurance at work today. Specifically high risk pools.

Me: I don't like high risk pools...unless there are at least two life guards on duty.

(The look of disgust is something I'll cherish forever)

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👤︎ u/Loplo_Fox
📅︎ Apr 01 2017
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Really bad snow puns. Read at own risk.
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👤︎ u/Skepticasaurus
📅︎ Nov 12 2011
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Whenever my dad encourages me to take risks and try something, he says "Seize the carp!"

My mother freaks out whenever she hears him say that because she hates it and she's sick of it. I think it's hilarious.

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👤︎ u/joe_sand
📅︎ Jan 17 2015
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I was playing risk with my brother and his friend

Him: "alright, you're up."

Me: "No no no no no, this is Europe."

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📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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