If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
I was going through the checkout when my card didn't work. The cashier said that I should try the card again.
I looked down at my shirt and said, "but I like my polo".
I had to explain it, but once she got it she thought it was hilarious. I'm very proud of this joke.
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off
Then you will de-feet him
When you try your best but you don't succeed
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
I'm here all week! Try the veal!
I really want to try Kool-Aid, but...
I can’t figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in that tiny little envelope.
My mom tries to wake me up in the morning with coffee, but honestly...
What happens when you try to kick a volcano?
Don't ever try to explain drones to the elderly
It just goes right over their heads
My friend told me he's going to try to get a large group of wolves to separate from each other.
There's a lot to unpack there.
I've offered my elderly neighbour $20 to try out her stair lift.
I think she's going to take me up on it.
What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?
Don’t ever go to the local mountains and try to rent skis.
You can only get snowbored.
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, “It’s out of this world ... radical!” he exclaimed.
In truth, it was just rad-ish.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass
Chemist 1 : You don’t trust me?
Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.
I try to make sure I have the noisiest rifle when I go hunting.
It ensures I get a good bang for my Buck.
My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed....
Saw nice guy try to help a girl with her spreadsheet
Don't try to eat the chickens in Minecraft.
I gave a bored king a comedian to try to entertain him
He appreciated the jester
Don't ever try eating a clock if you're in a hurry
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I fall sick every time I try to journal
I must be allergic to diary
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
My wife said she wanted to try and get rid of her love handles...
I said she'll look stupid without any ears 👂
My local clothing store has an area set aside to try on clothes that is perfectly placed in the store...
In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.
He was the original trip advisor.
Let me try uncle gravity next
We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it
The current version has a nasty virus
If I were you, I wouldn’t try the sushi
A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.
he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"
I woodn’t try it if I were you...
You really should try archery while blindfolded.
You don't know what you're missing.
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them
Police say it’s a great a crime detergent
Been meaning stop here for breakfast...everyone says I have to try their gloryholes.
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
My friend always told me to try different types of tea instead of drinking only Earl Grey.
Don't try to high five an executioner....
They'll leave you hanging.
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”
I said, “That...sounds like a big step.”
I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.
My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.
All it did was make them a bit sluggish.
My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed....
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
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