They were petri-fied.
I instantly thought this could affect Hundreds & Thousands...
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, “where do I drop it off?”
She says, “Go in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -“
“Don’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
I told him it was the least I could doo
So I gave her the legs
The N’s justify the means.
And I said hey check this out, jar jar clinks and I clinked them together.
I just don't give a shit
Me: Can I take two if I want three?
They had a great piss-cal year
I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'
She thought that was pretty funny.
...does that make him a rapscallion?
That shit was expensive.
That shit is expensive.
Cause I want to date you badly
-Ninja Sex Party lyrics
As they say, the n’s justify the means.
I asked her if she was taking the piss
There was an olive in it.
that's where I drew the line.
He’s really taking the piss
Last week, my grandmother got minor surgery on her eye. When my dad saw her come out with the dressing over her eye he nudged me and said 'Look! Nana got an ipad!'.
He then went up to her and says,'How'd the surgery go Patsy? Or is it Patchy now?'.
I totally laughed my ass off!
Went in to the docs office and told them I wanted to talk shit.
But now they argon.
http://imgur.com/LJ3xoOw
Me: Would you like to try some of our spicy red Thia curried mussels?
Customer: No thanks, We've got plenty of "Muscles" right here. (While pointing at his arms)
I gave him a nice laugh/Groan
My father in law is a vegetarian. Apparently at one point he was at the grocery store and a lady there was giving out samples of meatballs or something.
Woman: Would you like a sample?
Father in law: No thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
Woman (not giving up): It's low sodium!
Father in law: Well, I'm still a vegetarian, and I would have to put salt on it.
